Finally - a chance to vote.....

 .....at least for most of us Brits.  Those, like me, living outside the UK, for whatever reason, may still face difficulties - but then our non-residence shields us somewhat from the worst of British life in the '20s.  

But the General elecation in Britain, called by a rain-sodden Sunak for July 4 (I assume his spads missed the irony there of the electorate voting for independence from the fragmented and failing Conservative Party on US Independence Day - which goes a long way in showing the mess the party is in: it would never have happened under Churchill or Thatcher or even Major), is not the only election this year.  The Indian election has just returned Modi with a reduced majority in the world's most populous democracy - the voting process took a month to complete.  This weekend sees the EU's Parliamentary election, and of course in November we have a re-run of Trump v Biden in the US.  

Taken indivudually each country involved (all 29 of them) face important decisions that can and probably will have global impact.  Come Christmas, and the world will be a different and quite possibly more dangerous place.  This should concern us all.

Let's start with Britain's General Election, since, despite being an ex-pat for over 20 years, it is still closest to my heart.  I was born and raised English, and in my heart of hearts will remain so for the rest of my life.  A number of people have asked me why, since I no longer live in the country (I've been labelled a traitor more than once, especially during the 2016 Referendum) I still care about what happens in British politics - which I think says more about their stupidity than anything else.  I still have close family living in Kent, not least three out of my five kids and all four of my grandkids, so what happens in the country will directly affect them all, and I cannot ignore that (even if I can do nothing concrete to change anything).  It's what parentage does to you.....  And what I have seen happen over the time of my non-residence quite frankly fills me with anger and despair.

I left the country for work purposes at the turn of the century, and for personal reasons ended up staying abroad ever since.  When I left, the place was buzzing, at the height of Blair's Britain, a well respected global power with a strong economy and a bright future.  Involvement in Bush's invasion of Iraq, potentially illegally (I understand the arguments but remain of the view we had little choice in the matter) put paid to all that, and in my view was the genesis of the now overwhelming mistrust of Britain's political class by the electorate.  A discredited Blair eventually gave way to Brown, who despite being a fine Chancellor was a poor Prime minister, and he was soundly defeated in the 2010 poll that ushered in the Tory-LibDem coalition with the promise of a new, fairer way to govern. It fell apart fairly soon, amid the sort of anti-EU rhetoric and in-fighting that has dogged the country ever since, and thanks to broken promises and weak leadership by Nick Clegg the coalition foundered at the next Election and ushered in a solid Tory administration. The party has been in sole power ever since, and has lost every shred of decency, compassion and understanding of the worries of ordinary electors in the process.

At the root of it lies a still unrepentant rump of MPs who have always been rampantly anti-EU.  This is not new: similar factions forced out both Thatcher and Major (both of whom, though cautious about the UK's relationship with the EU, were committed to working alongside the bloc in most matters, in particular trade and security), and no lleader since has been able to cauterise them in the way Kinnock and, later, Blair neutered Labour's Militant Tendency headbangers.  Instead, the Tory party's own headbangers, ingenuously branding themselves the European Research Group (ERG) were able to flourish and obtain a far louder voice than their numbers or ideals deserved.

Brexit should have appeased them, since their aim of leaving the EU had been met. Instead, they have spent the time since complaining about, and blaming the EU for, the problems Britain faces in trade, its failing economy, underfunded NHS and transport sytem - the list of ills is long - actually made worse by leaving the EU and its associated trade deal, but lacking the moral fibre to admit they were wrong and are really part of the problem. They have looked for something to deflect the public's attention, and have found it in immigration: specifically the illegal immigration by loads of refugees crossing the Channel in small boats after bankrupting themselves to people smugglers.  Instead of attacking the "criminal gangs" the target is rather the boat people themselves, broke, cold, destitute and now demonised.  This election is shaping up to be all about immigration (Reform UK, a nonentity of a party that sprouted out of the Brexit defining UKIP are certainly making it their number one concern) since by stopping the boats, suddenly everything will be sunshine and roses again.  Of course it will not be that at all.

The problem is that over the past forty-odd years, sensible discussion and debate has been abandoned by the political parties, and replaced by soundbites, headline grabbing statements (most of them untrue) that appeal to our lowest instincts.  The Brexit campaign, and subsequent tortuous passage of the legislation through Parliament was founded entirely on untruths and exaggeration.  The Liar In Chief, Boris Johnson, was adept at telling at least one a day, and blaming everyone but himself and his Party for what was patently going wrong.  Is it any wonder that the electorate has lost trust?  No.

The election campaign has been running less than two weeks, and amid various questionable statements and evasive answers from both main parties, the first Big Lie has been uncovered, in the first Leader's debate.  Sunak stated that Labour's policies would mean a tax increase of two thousand pounds for every household, according to a UK Treasury report.  He repeated this claim 11 times over the course of the hour's debate, until a clearly nonplussed Starmer told him the claim was "garbage".  Tory MPs sprang to Sunak's side and repeated the claim ad infinitum.  But the next day a letter from the Chief Secretary to the Treasury (the senior civil servant who runs the place) to Starmer, sent two days prior to the debate, that stated quite clearly that the figure was incorrect, and the result of Tory advisors massaging Treasury figures (i.e. adding their own numbers to make the report look worse) and was in no way the work of any employee of the Treasury department.  In other words, a lie.  Sunak and his minions still deny it, but even pro-Tory publications like the Spectator have pointed out some inaccuracies in Sunak's statement.  A good start, and no doubt further undermining any remote chance the party has of winning.

The latest polling suggests that the Conservatives could end up with as few as 60 seats and be at best the third biggest in Parliament (this from an 80 seat majority a couple of years ago), with a best case position of around 110 seats.  In either case, it's likely several senior figures will lose their seats, and Sunak himself (even if returned to Parliament) will undoubtedly no longer lead the Party.  After the last few years, it is no more than the Party deserves.

And Labour?  This is a strange one, in my view.  In terms of key policies, there aren't too many differences between the Party and the Tories.  There is also some disquiet about Starmer himself: never a charismatic individual and a no more than average public speaker, he has so far failed to reveal exactly who he is or what he stands for.  He has been busily purging the Party of some of its more Left Wing Members, notably the last Leader, Corbyn, but this has not pleased the entire Party membership nor the public at large: they are still labelled, probably wrongly, as a traditional tax-and-spend party on the Left of the political divide: to me they seem more like the Conservative Party circa John Major.  But come July 5th, they will be forming the next government, probably with a landslide victory. 

 

The EU Parliamentary election is a strange one.  For years, as the bloc expanded from half a dozen member states to its present near 30 it has been clear that its governance is not fit for purpose: too complex, too many alliances, and not enough clarity of purpose.  The structure was fine for a small trading bloc, less so for the political partnership it has grown into.  Britain, during its membership, never took the Parliament itself seriously, nor did the press, so the voter turnout was always pitifully low.  One of the things Cameron pledged to do during his term was drive change to this governance, streamlining it and making it more accountable in its decision making, hence more palatble to British voters.  Instead, he brought about Brexit and immediately resigned.  I can't think of a bigger miscalculation by any Prime Minister in my lifetime - I think it even exceeds Blair's Iraq conduct.

The EU parliamentary members are voted in by their countries, with numbers based on the comparative size of the country (so Germany has many more MEPs than say Latvia).  This seems sensible.  Decision making however is more driven by various alliances between parties with similar political beliefs and aims: so in theory Green Party members from Germany would align with Green Party members from the Netherlands, Poland and so on.  The alliances are fluid and change to a degree with every election as countries respond with different MEPs as their own strategic needs change.  This seems less sensible. And certainly more complex and difficult to manage.

The issue this time round is that over the past few years a number of member states have lurched politically away from liberal democracies that historically made up the bulk of the Union toward a more strident Right Wing Populism: examples include Italy, Slovakia, Czechia and Hungary.  Even in Germany the Far Right AfD party (widely considered to be Neo-Nazi) is the second biggest party, and Marine LePen's racist Fronte Nationale has grown in popularity in France.  The spectre here is that after this weekend the alliances in the Parliament could also lurch even further towards the Far Right, making common policy decisions affecting the entire EU much harder to achieve and implement.  A further complication is that a number of the Extreme Right Populist parties - in particular the Hungarian Fidesz of Viktor Orban - are extremely close and supportive of our friendly neighbourhood psycho Vladimir Putin.  

The irony of Right Wing parties, no matter how extreme or otherwise, cosying up to an unreconstituted Communist (hence extreme Left) psychopathic dictator seems to have been lost in the countries who elected them.  The fear here is that Putin can encourage (and probably handsomely reward) them for supporting him in his illegal war against Ukraine and hence undermine both the EU and NATO to his clear advantage.  Poland, formerly run by another Right Wing Populist government and close supporters of Orban and long in dispute with the EU over the rule of law, but still virulently anti-Putin, now has the more moderate, centrist former EU President Donald Tusk as its PM, and he has been campaigning strongly for Europe to strengthen its borders with Russia (and its puppet Belarus) to guard against invasion if Putin wins the Ukraine conflict as a result of the Extreme Right's possible interference.  

He should, know after his face-to-face dealings with Putin during his time in EU office.  The border fence constructed a couple of years ago to keep out illegal migrants (so not a uniquely British problem, no matter what Sunak and Farage and others would have you believe) is being extended to cover the Russian Kaliningrad enclave to the north and the Balltic coast. These are scary times, especially living within less than a couple hours' drive from both borders, as I do.   I hope the rest of the EU takes note and votes to guard its frontiers.

I'm not going to attempt to predict how this election is going to end up: the issues are certainly far more complex and less easy to understand than the simple Conservative v Labour choice at home.  But because of the proximity of my home to a war zone and the very real fears that most Poles have about Putin's post-Ukraine plans (fears that I share), I shall be watching with interest how the make up of the parliament in Brussels changes after this weekend.

Finally, we have the US Presidential Election this coming November.  The antics going on across the pond leave me amazed at the stupidity of some people, and mystified by how a political system limited to two parties that has led the country into being such a divided nation can be held up as a model for anything but chaos.  To this outsider looking in, it looks like every four years (eight maximum: the two-term limit) the country lurches either Left or Right, and the incoming President seems to spend the first couple of weeks of his term issuing Presidential Orders to unwind much of his predecessor's  legislation, before pushing through his own - which in turn will probably be unwound after the next election.  One Administration raises taxes and improves health care benefits for all, the next, favouring "the market", promptly slashes taxes and health care benefits unless they are purchased via expensive insurance policies provided by major companies (and party donors). Or vice versa...  There seems little stability.  If Britain is a divided country with an unfair electoral system (which is true), then America seems a deeply polarized country with a broken political system that is not fit for purpose and questionable as a democracy,

It seems to me that in a democratic society, leadership should be based on ability and the will of the people at the ballot box, not by who has the deepest pockets and able to persuade the most people to give them money, much of which appears to be spent on advertisements, in print, on tv and the internet, slandering political opponents, lying and misrepresenting their opponent's beliefs, policies and achievements while liying about and misrepresenting and grossly exaggerating their own.  It's the politics of hate and division, not hope and compromise, and sadly it is spreading across the Atlantic, certainly to Britain, arguably to the rest of Europe, and this is not a good thing.

This year it will be a run-off between two old men, 80 year old Democrat Joe Biden, the incumbent, and 77 year old Republican Donald Trump, a re-run of the last poll four years ago.  The fact that a new, younger generation of politicans has failed to come through, strong enough to take the parties and the country forward, is itself an indictment of the political system, for both parties.  Trump being on the ballot at all as his party's choice is nothing less than a disgrace: the man is a liar, a fantasist, a dishonest conspiracy theorist, a mysogynist and a convicted felon awaiting sentence for 34 accounting fraud offences.  He also has dozens of other court cases pending and held up in various states thanks to a justice system loaded by him with his supporters in the Supreme Court (so he is also corrupt).  Considering some of the cases relate to unsubstantiated claims of alleged election fraud last time out, and his conduct before and during the so-called Insurgency that attempted to overturn the election result in January 2021 by storming Congress, that resulted in a number of deaths (none of which were attributable to him, he insists) Trump should be nowhere near public office, let alone the Presidency. 

And yet the political system allows a convicted criminal, even one serving jailtime, not only to run for the Presidency but to take office and govern from his cell if he wins.  This is because there is nothing in the Constitution, America's sacred text, to prevent it happening, and this would need amandment to cover the eventuality: one that nobody had ever envisaged happening until this slimeball came along and trampled it underfoot. 

The result of this election could have consequence far beyond America's shores, especially if Trump wins.  He has already said his will be a vengeful Adminstration, so his political opponents will be targetted and his supporters serving time receiving Presidential Pardons as soon as he completes swearing the Oath of Office.  He has announced plans to reform many of the State's institutions to weaken their powers and replace them with rules to obey Presidential edicts - essentially changing governance from a democracy to a dictatorship.  This is essentially what Hitler did during the 1930s and Putin has done (and continues to do) since he took power in Russia.  He has suggested he will withdraw the country from NATO unless every member state immediately abides by his financial demands.  He has also pledged to end the Ukraine War on his fist day in office (presumably by withdrawing all support, financial and military from the country and allowing Russia to take whatever it wants).

Make no mistake he is a deranged individual whose only policy is one of self-aggrandizement. He cares for no-one but Donald Trump.  And yet swathes of the population support him and the Republicsan Party is in thrall to him - they will do whatever he says in order to maintain their grip on power. And dear old Joe and the Democrats seem incapable of countering this movement.  Many people have expressed concern for his health, and wonder openly whether if elected he is fit enough to complete a four year term of office - a reasonable point that begs the question, then why did you not find a younger candidate instead of abiding by convention and allowing the incumbent an automatic nomination?  Especially given the likely opponent!

I sincerely hope enough Americans come to their senses and vote for Biden.  Whatever his age and frailty, he is a decent man and has spent a lifetime of public office serving the American people.  I hope too the Republican Party re-discovers its conscience and blocks Trump's candidacy, but I fear Hell will freeze over before that happens.....

So here we are, well into what could be a momentous political year.  How it will all play out is open to debate and certainly impossible to predict. I try not to worry, not to lose any sleep over any of it - but I can't help it.  Without a vote there is absolutely nothing I can do to change anything (not that a single vote ever does, even in the closest poll).  

But, no question, these are dangerous times.

The Absence of Truth

 

For years, I've been a bit of news junkie.  Specifically, during my years travelling around the world on business, usually to places where I had little or no understanding of the native tongue and where either CNN or the BBC World News were the only English language channels on the hotel tv service, the experience turned me into a news junkie as there was bugger all else to watch (except for porn in some of the better hotels and, of course, on the internet - this was pre-Netflix, Amazon Prime and the other streamers).  With CNN and the Beeb you could be reasonably sure the reporting was factual since the reporters took pains (and often accepted tremendous personal risks) to go to where the news was - to battlefields, to angry street demonstrations where there was of the chance of a riot developing, to authoritarian countries like Russia and China, North Korea and Iran and Syria - and both film and report exactly what they saw happening.  Difficult questions were asked of politicians and their usually mealy mouthed spokespeople, and faithfully reported. It all worked fine.

Then somewhen towards the end of the Obama Administration and the start of the serious Brexit movement (perhaps even earlier, back when the Bush 2 - Blair duo proceeded a War On Terror in the wake of 9/11 that was essentially illegal, overthrew not only Saddam but de-stabilised the entire Middle East, brought about the retribution of al Quaida and ISIS, that all in cost hundreds of thousands of lives and rumbles on today) it all changed.  There came an explosion of alternate media outlets peddling stories on a largely unregulated internet, that often ran contrary to the traditional news media and was rarely verified or fact checked prior to publication. Fiction wrapped up as fact.

The conspiracy theorists that infest the internet loved all of the dross and couldn't get enough of it.  Low lifes like Alex Jones and his InfoWars website that specialised in peddling it (and often wrote the stuff) made fortunes.  The Conspiracist-In-Chief, one Donald J. Trump, lied his way into the US Presidency, largely on the back of another congenital liar and fake news specialist Steve Bannon (and his Breitbart News website), and in short order managed to turn the world upside down, so that the proper and well known global news providers - the "mainstream media" - like the BBC and CNN, and old and respected publications like the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times and the grand old Times of London became branded as Fake News, and newcomers like InfoWars, Breitbart and a host of others switched from being Fake News to mainstream News Media.  

The press became increasingly partisan, not in terms of National Interest but in terms of specific political parties' versions of the national interest.  Hence the mass publication titles like the Mail and the Telegraph, always Tory supporting, became even more rampantly Right Wing, in return for favoured briefings from the Party leadership (in government now for 14 years and counting) and the odd knighthood or peerage.  The papers began to set the agenda, mostly cenntred around leaving the EU, domestic terrorism and border security, and a strong economy.  I would argue they have failed on all these fronts, but that's a discussion for another blog another day.

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All this has left me, and probably everyone else, completely lost as to what constitutes Truth, what is a misrepresentation, and what an Outright Lie.  Take the Brexit Referendum.  A lot of misrepresentation went on throughout the campaign with the odd outright lie thrown in for good measure. For the first, the statement that leaving the EU would enable us to set our own rules and sign our own trade agreements (neither of which has happened as predicted by the likes of Farage and Johnson) is a reasonable example.  The promise that our border security would be strengthened as we would be able to control it has turned out to be a complete lie: there are more illegal migrants arriving by the year and there is no sign of a solution to the problem - if indeed it is a problem. This too is a topic for another essay to re-visit.  The less said about the promise of another three hundred million quid a week (or whatever the amount was) to the NHS plastered all over Johnson's battle bus, or about Priti Patel's assertion that Turkey's imminent accession to the EU would open our borders to 80million Islamic terrorists (a lie on so many levels: Turkey has not acceded and is unlikely to do so for another generation, fpr example, plus the quoted figure was the total population of Turkey, hence the soppy cow was branding new born babes as well as dying old people terrorists), the better. 

The Conspiritor-in-Chief, Mr. Trump, lied his way through his term of office and a global Covid Pandemic, lost the next election but continues to protest that he actually won it, that he did not encourage the January 6 insurrection and storming of Congress (his plea to supporters that day, minutes before the storming, to "fight like hell" presumably just a joke, and the calls to "Hang Mike Pence" - recently panned by Trump as being a coward - merely exuberance), and that the hundred-odd court cases that he is challenging, charges including misuse of government funds, inciting the insurrection, false accounting practices and theft of government propertry, to say nothing of tax evasion, are all a sham and a disgrace and a Biden plot to prevent his re-election this year.....  Unbelievably, this deranged individual is still the Republican nominee. 

Then we have the Russian invasion of Ukraine, that Putin says is to de-Nazify the Ukrainian regime and protect the Russian people, not at all a blatant land grab.  There is so much Fake News flying about over that conflict, dragging on for a third year now, that I don't know where to start so I'll leave it.   But suffice to say that Russia has for years specialised in cyber warfare (there is documented evidence it has interfered in foreign elections and the Brexit referendum by spreading lies on social media) and is not averse to taking more serious action outside its borders when it feels like it (the Litvinenko assassination and Skripal poisonings in Britain and the downing of Malaysian Airlines flight MH17 over Ukraine have all been shown as the work of its intelligence agencies and military, despite the Putin regime's denials).

And more recently, and in my view sickeningly, we have the Israel - Hamas conflict.  The sheer number of untruths being peddled over this is simply breathtaking.  The cause of the current explosion is largely defined as the Hamas atrocity of October 7, the raid on a kibbutz that left a thousand odd Israeli men, women and children dead and more than 200 Hamas captives.  The preceding 80 or so years of successive Israeli governments carrying out policies that have left the Palestinian people either exiled around the world or penned into enclaves on the Gaza Strip and West Bank, under round-the-clock surveillance by IDF forces that also control the water, electricity and medical supply provision, are overlooked or denied.  These actions gave rise directly to Hamas, as desperation led to calls for some kind of direct action to help the stateless Palestinians make a homeland to call their own and govern on their own. The atrocity triggered a violent response from Israel, understandably, in defence of its homeland (at least, that is the official line) but the number of Palestinian dead has risen to almost 35,000 (depending on which set of figures you read), most of whom are women and children.  Gaza is now a wasteland, pictures of it resembling Hiroshima after the Bomb, Warsaw and Berlin and Stalingrad - indeed any number of cities in Europe - at the end of the Second World War. But by any stretch of the imagination Israel's response could hardly be called, and  certainly not accepted as, "proportionate", nor "effective and successful" since half the Hamas captives are still held in Gaza.  Negotiations to free them have dragged on for six months, collapsing time and time again, with each side blaming the other and denying responsibility.  

There are allegations, backed up by hard evidence, of daily war crimes being carried out, all of them denied by Israel. There are continuing missile attacks by IDF forces against alleged Hezbollah camps (allies of Hamas and blamed for assisting with the October 7 atrocity: a claim denied by both groups) across the border in Lebanon. Israel also carried out (but will not admit) a strike on a building next to the Iranian embassy in Damascus in neighbouring Syria that killed a couple of high-ranking Iranian generals who, Israel maintains, were also assisting Hamas, Predictably the claim was denied by Iran, and a missile and drone strike carried out by it against Israel.  This was largely ineffectual, but drew the US and the UK into the conflict as USAF and RAF fighter planes assisted the Israeli defence effort.  With all sides blaming each other for the carnage, how is the truth to be defined here?

Whatever the truth is, there are certainly falsehoods in the offiicial statements being made by the Foreign Secretary Lord David (Brexit was nothing to do with me) Cameron in his defence of Britain's involvement.  The attack by Iran was "unprecedented", one sovereign country against another: this ignores Russia's invasion of Georgia some years ago, and more pertinently its invasion of Crimea (part of Ukraine) in 2014, the forerunner to its full scale invasion of Ukraine, with the assistance of its ally Belarus, in 2022.  It also ignores Iraq's invasion of Kuwait preceding the first Gulf War, and the joint US/UK invasion of Iraq post 9/11.  And many other instances throughout the world over the last hundred years.  There is nothing "unprecedented" at all.  Cameron also states there has never been such a "concerted aerial bombardment using drones and missiles" - again, totally false: similar tactics were used against Iraq in Operation Shock & Awe that kicked off the US/UK invasion, and have been used by Russia against Ukraine on a daily basis for the past for two years.  It begs the question why the US and UK are not prepared to allow their air forces to assist Ukraine in its aerial defences as well - Putin's Russia is a far greater threat to world peace than Iran and Hamas.  

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Clearly, "Truth" is a concept that most politicians are now unfamiliar with, under any circumstances. They peddle so much disinformation, so many outright lies, that reporting anything accurately is becoming increasingly difficult, especially with the proliferation of a cyber warfare using social media platforms like Facebook and X hosting, often unwittingly, hundreds, perhaps thousands, of fake accounts managed via troll farms in Moscow and (probably) Tel Aviv and Beijing, Langley Virginia, and GCHQ in Cheltenham.  How is anyone supposed to make an informed decision in any election or referendum, in any survey, almost any life decision, when the facts needed to guide their choices are virtually impossible to detect and separate from the fictitious nonsense? How do you decide what is Fake News and what is Real News? 

I don't have the answers.  But I firmly believe that unless and until there is a return to truth-telling and an abandonment of bullshit, then we are all in a very dangerous place.  

Whatever happened to LinkedIn?

Out of interest, what is the purpose of LinkedIn nowadays? I used it regularly for several years, had a solid Network of people, most of whom I knew personally and had worked with. It was a good way for us to keep in touch, alert each other to work opportunities, shoot the breeze in a non-aggressive (i.e. Twitter free) way, and now and again to practice my blogging skills. I even found a work contract one time. It was fine. Then I retired, and (as I thought...) closed and deleted the account as no longer relevant to my life. That was in 2018.

A couple of months ago, My Beloved asked me to track down an old work colleague who we had lost contact with, so I revisited the platform and found him straight away. But without having a LI account of my own, I couldn't reach out to him, so I started to set one up (with the intention of it being purely a temporary means to an end) - and lo and behold the old account I thought was no longer in existance popped up, with all the same personal details but without reference to my original (and final) Network. I sent a request to our friend and we are now connected (not that he has renewed contact with either of us, but still - it's a start).

Just for fun, and to wile away an hour or so, I decided to Edit my Profile, since it was totally out of date and irrelevant, but the changes I was able to make were by and large complete nonsense.  For instance, changing my Occupation and Current Employer to "Retired" and "Not Applicable" - a reflection of my reality - was not possible.  According to my Profile, I am still employed by my old One Man Band Consultancy that I set up ten years ago and haven't used since my retirement, and this shows as my tag line and Current (uneditable) Positon.  I managed to set a field under the Open to Work button that says "Retired", so now I get sent lists of jobs tagged "for retired" that are nothing of the sort. I mean, retirement is not a job it's a way of life, and different for every single retiree. And of course other recruiters and agencies are sending me lists of Consultancy jobs in banking, IT, Pharma and a host of other stuff I neither know nor care about.  

The site even looks very different to how I remember it, so I find it a less than an enjoyable experience. Even the posts are somehow different from how I remember them: always a work-oriented social network, it now appears to me to have morphed into a glossy tool to advertise yourself and spell out what a truly wonderful individual you are, and how employers should be falling over each other to make you an offer you can't refuse - complete with slideshows, pdf's and videos to showcase this that or the other. But perhaps 'twas ever thus and my old mind is playing tricks again.  I'm sure this is all very well, all fine and dandy for today's thrusting young executives striving to climb their individual greasy pole......but I'm afraid to this introverted, aging hippy with a life to live and interests to pursue for my own personal satisfaction - well, not to put too fine a point on it, it's all bollocks!

I'm sure there is a market for a social network of this kind, since every damned thing has its own media platform these days, and I don't really have a problem with that.  I'm not particularly active in the area - a bit of Facebook to keep in touch with my friends and family scattered around the world, but that's about it. And my blogs of course, if they count as social media (I don't think they do). I also understand any platform, be it LinkedIn or simply my internet browser of choice, must evolve in line with technological advances and that driving force of everything, The Market - but I wish sometimes a little more thought could be applied when doing so.  To me at least what I've seen on my return to LinkedIn shows me that in this case the evolution hasn't been for the better.  It would have been nice, for instance, if the re-opened account still showed at least the list of names that comprised my old network, and allowed me to re-connect (should any of them want to do so, of course) but that is not the case.  As it stands if I want to re-build I have to a) remember who was in that network (of course I can't), then b) spend hours, perhaps days, using the Search tool to try and track then down.  Frankly, I can't be bothered - and that is no disrespect to them, they were all fine people. I simply just don't see any point in doing it.

Anyway, I know mine is a voice in the wilderness, so I'll finish this rant now and get on with the rest of my life.   

Is the US complicit in the Gaza conflict?

 

I do wish the media would stop using the term "Israel - Gaza War" - it is NOT a war, it's a slaughter. 

With a war, generally, both sides are more or less equal in terms of armaments, forces and objectives. The conflict between Russia and Ukraine is a war (of aggression, prompted by one sovereign state invading a neighouring sovereign state).  No-one could suggest that is the case in the Israel - Gaza conflict because Gaza has no sovereignty. Hamas committed an awful terrorist attack, and has rightly been condemned for doing so. 

Israel's response is anything but proportionate, no matter what that state's government might say. There have been around 1,200 Israeli deaths, and 253 citizens captured (some of whom have now been released by Hamas) according to press reports. In Gaza, there have been almost 30,000 deaths and over 70,000 injured by Israeli forces. And that ignores the tens of thousands, on both sides, who have been killed or injured over the past 75 years of conflict. Where is the condemnation for that?  

The Israeli actions have spread to the West Bank, legally Palestinian territory according to international law and the UN but illegally occupied by Israel, and neighbouring Lebanon, allegedly because of links between Hamas and the Lebanese Hezbollah movement that has had no proven link to the October attacks.  The prospect of an escallation across the entire region exists. Where is the condemnation for that?

And yet Netanyahu, buoyed up by billions of dollars in US military aid, insists "only the total destruction" of Hamas will end the war. He has given no hint as to how this will be achieved, and ignores the fact that his continuing military campaign is probably acting as a recruitment tool for Hamas - Gaza is now awash with orphaned and traumatized young men, their families dead or missing, still under daily bombardment - and some may well join Hamas hoping to exact revenge for their losses. The only way there can be a "total destruction" of Hamas is by the total destruction of the Palestinian people themselves - including the innocent men, women and children who do not support Hamas. In other words, genocide.  South Africa and other African allies took a complaint to the UN Security Council alleging precisely that, and made allegations of daily war crimes by Israeli forces.  The UNSC found largely in South Africa's favour and requested a "humanitarian pause", but stronger wording and action was abandoned due to the US refusing to support a full condemnation.

This is Netanyahu's aim, and has been all along, in every term of office he has enjoyed. Israel, clearly, contiues to flout every UN Resolution trying to end this conflict, every call for a ceasefire to provide desperately needed humanitarian aid, and yet the US continues to support the regime. It is an obscenity. The US is complicit in daily war crimes and murder by a state actor. 

Biden should stop every cent of military aid to Israel today - not a penny more until and unless Israel removes its forces from Gaza. Not a penny more until and unless there is a detailed, negotiated settlement between Israel and the Palestinian authorities that provides the latter with statehood, and the freedoms that go with statehood. Achieve that, and there will be no need for Hamas or any other active terrorist organisation to exist there. The people will be able to govern themselves instead of being penned up in what amounts to the biggest open prison-cum-killing ground in the region, arguably in the world.

But I am NOT holding my breath for that, for the US completely lacks a moral compass when it comes to Middle Eastern affairs - indeed, any foreign affairs, unless there is financial gain to be had. Should Trump get re-elected (God forbid!), the situation will only get worse, globally.  He has already openly voiced anti-NATO sentiments, even during his term of Office, and his Republican accolytes in Congress are blocking a further aid package to Ukraine that essentially sends a message to Putin that he can carry on with his war without US interference.  How long before the US also withdraws its sanctions package against the Russian regime too?  The day after a Trump inauguration, perhaps?  And yet that same Congress continues to pump military aid into Israel to prolong this slaughter.....

These are dangerous times indeed!  

I worry about America...

 

Seriously, I do.

For my entire life, the United States of America has been a beacon of hope and peace and democracy, whether under a Republican or a Democrat Administration. Amidst all the gung-ho posturing and often angry rhetoric - and sometimes it could be very angry indeed (and often about what in my view were the wrong things) - and despite a pathological Superiority Complex the size of the Andromeda Galaxy, I always felt the country could be relied upon to Do The Right Thing.   And mostly it did.

The Government and its spokespersons always trumpeted its successes, its "American values" and the sanctity of its Constitution; how there was no alternative - indeed, could never be an alternative - to Freedom, Democracy and The American Way, while at the same time leaving millions of its citizens in unemployed misery in ghettoes in every city, every large town, because of the colour of their skin or the place of their birth. I turned a blind eye and a deaf ear as they tried to force these beliefs onto nations that were never in a million years likely to accept them, in both the Middle and the Far East, even neighbouring Central America.   And of course Russia (sorry: the USSR) and its bloc.  And invariably at gun point.

I worked with many, many Americans in my banking career, much of it spent working for Wall Street behemoths like Merrill Lynch and Salomon Brothers and Bear Stearns, so I heard this refrain every day of my working life, along with lectures on how technologically advanced America was, and how wealthy (both due to Capitalism and education and health care systems that were world class) its population was (except for the unfortunates I mentioned above, who were never mentioned in these conversations). There was mystification when I innocently pointed out that some of the scientific breakthroughs, like the discovery of DNA, the development of penicillin, the first jet engines and the World Wide Web, were actually made by British educated and employed scientists and engineers, and told I didn't know what I was talking about. In the end, I gave up, went with the flow and stopped arguing (though without every changing my mind).

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I'm not sure when my live-and-let-live attitude towards America and Americans changed. Perhaps it was on my first trip to New York, when I was waiting in line at Passport Control at Newark Airport. I was next in line, behind a German family, harassed by an official because of their imperfect English (and ignoring his total lack of German). There were three kids, all under about 7 I would guess, tired, bored and a bit fractious (probably hungry too) because of the interminable delay. The youngest, no more than two or three, while his parents were again trying to answer another question, wandered off, a few paces past the desk where the parents were now close to tears of frustration. Suddenly a cop, behind the row of desks, dropped into a crouch, whipped out his pistol and pointed it at this little boy. "Who's is the kid?" he bellowed. "Who's? Come on, I'll fuckin' shoot!"   The mother leapt forward, scooped the confused and terrified child into her arms, and the pair of them dissolved into floods of tears as she tried to comfort him and his now terrified siblings.

The cop put his gun away, and he and the passport officer proceeded to berate the poor family for failing to control their kids, pointed out they were in America now not some shitty European dump, stamped the passports and told them to "get the hell out of here." Then they angrily waved me forward for my grilling. Welcome to America, I thought, as I stepped forward. 

This was in early 2000.  Or it may have been a couple of years later, after the shocking tragedy and carnage of 9/11. No-one who witnessed that (as most of the world did, like me at work on a variety of tv's, worried because I had friends in our American subsidiary with offices half-way up the North Tower: thank God, they all managed to get out before the collapse and survived) can fail to have been moved by it and understand that whoever was behind it had to be brought to justice. But the (probably understandable) anti-Muslim backlash, stoked up by the rhetoric coming out the Bush White House without any real facts behind it was probably not the wisest response. The subsequent invasion of Iraq (a country that had played no part at all in the actual atrocity) only added more fuel to the fire. The absence of a plan for a post Saddam regime and further attacks on Afghanistan made those sentiments even worse, and the resulting conflicts that dragged on for twenty years left tens (perhaps hundreds) of thousands dead or maimed, most of whom were simply ordinary people unconnected with the criminal gangs and terrorist cells that filled the power vacuum created by US and Allied troop withdrawals. None of the terrorist actors the wars were supposed to destroy were defeated: they still exist, diminished perhaps, but still active and filled with a membership drawn from the sons and grandsons of the innocent victims, now seeking revenge. Religious fundamentalism, particularly Islamic but arguably spread to Zionism and the kind of anti-immigration Far Right regimes popping up and gaining popularity across Europe and elsewhere, has increased over these 20 years. The War on Terror is far from won.

Then there were Wikileaks scandals. I was working in Trinidad at the time Chelsea (then Bradley) Manning's trove of documents was released, and our entire project team (I was the only non-American or local working there) were up in arms. To a man, they called for Manning to be shot, on the spot, without trial, and demanded the arrest of Julian Assange and closure of his news platform for treason. I gently pointed out that Assange, as an Australian citizen resident then in London, hadn't actually committed treason and as far as I could see hadn't committed a crime, since publishing "news" on a "news website" was his job. Sure, you could argue that the information was stolen, but that has never stopped any news outlet from publishing something in the public interest (and arguably never should). When I actually saw some of the stuff, that clearly documented war crimes carried our by the military, I applauded (and continue to do so) Manning's courage in bringing it to a global audience and Assange for having the guts to help him. War crimes can never be justified. Ever.

Some years ago, after all this, I published a piece on my blog (in fact the Manning business was one of the triggers for my starting the blog: as an outlet for my views as part of the global discussion I felt was needed - I still believe that) that was critical of US conduct at the time and suggested that America needed a dose of humility (as in being more humble themselves, as a nation, as opposed to humiliating others or being themselves humiliated) and accept that other nations and religions and political systems and belief systems have a right to exist, and millions, even billions of people equally have an equal right to follow them. The American Way and Capitalism are fine for America and Americans, but not for everyone else. I still have no doubt at all this is the case.

If anything, the Trump years and their aftermath make me even more convinced that this is the case, and that, right now, there is something rotten at the country's core. I still cannot fully understand how this clown won his Term of Office: he has made and lost fortunes by bullshitting and bullying, and is a misogynistic serial liar. This was evident before his election and nothing he has done since has shown otherwise. And yet millions of Americans voted him into office and turned him into the most powerful man on Earth (if only because of America's vast wealth and military might: certainly not for any mental or political aptitude, which in him remain completely lacking). He did it off the back of internet conspiracists and religious fundamentalists (that word again) that somehow  convinced the Great Unwashed and the chancers who would do anything to turn a profit - uber Capitalists, if you like) that milked a political system that allows an Electoral College to win the Presidency despite losing, heavily, the popular vote. Not the first President to do that, nor will he be the last, but certainly the least intelligent or competent.

Chaos reigned. At first it was funny, and how we laughed at his antics: self consciously doing a sword dance in Saudi Arabia, barging his way to the middle of the front row, desperate to be The Man, at his first NATO summit photo call. Wooing Putin (who couldn't believe how lucky he was and promptly invaded Crimea because he knew he could get away with it) and Mr. Kim (who equally couldn't believe his luck and increased his nuclear weapons production as soon as he got home). Denied Covid was anything more than a bad cold (even after his own hospitalisation) and suggesting ingesting bleach could be a good cure, while at the same time ignoring all his top scientists and medical advisors and refusing mask mandates until the death toll reached the millions (and doing little to stop individual cities and states that chose to ignore them).

He lost the next Election and refused to accept that either. His supporters, the same Great Unwashed conspiracists, with his encouragement, stormed the Capitol in an attempt to stop VP Pence confirming the vote and the Democratic victory: an insurrection, said most sensible people, no just high spirits and righteous anger replied the Great Unwashed. Reluctantly, he headed to Florida, with his family and several hundred boxes of classified documents that, by law, belonged to the National Archives not him, still crowing about a stolen election, while his Democratic winner Joe Biden wandered in and tried to clean up the mess.

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And now we have a new Election year, and the reason for the title of this piece. Here is why I worry about America. 

The incumbent, dear old Joe, is 80 and clearly not in the best of health. Not to put too fine a point on it, he is an old man - he will be 81 come Election Day. He stumbles a bit when he walks, and his voice is weaker, sometimes indistinct; increasingly he loses track of what he's trying to say and fumbles his words. There are more and more people worried about his competence to stand for Election, never mind do the job if he wins.

Trump, meanwhile, despite losing a number of high profile court cases, including one for rape and another for property fraud, and facing another 90+ criminal and civil cases of various kinds, all of which in any other country I can think of would disqualify him from any public office from President down to road sweeper or toilet cleaner, and despite using $50m from his campaign funds to pay his legal bills (he is now demanding more donations - and will no doubt get them from his deluded army of Great Unwashed) is running away with the Republication nomination. Oh, and he will be 77 come Election Day.

So Americans must choose between two old men. One is a nice enough old codger, who is smart enough when pushed but increasingly frail and confused, suggestive of some deeper health issues, who, to be brutally honest, may not complete a second term. The other is a thrice (or is now four times? I've lost count) bankrupt serial liar and incompetent businessman, who is also a convicted sex offender, and a conspiracy theorist to boot. 

Biden is at least patriotic, law abiding, with a lifelong devotion to public service, and a love of the US Constitution, although prone to confusion in geopolitics (Sisi is the Egyptian leader, not the Mexican one, to quote one recent glaring error). But he is still a bit sensible, if old......   

But Trump is increasingly losing the plot. His latest pronouncements, suggesting that the NATO edict that an attack on one member state is an attack on all member states is only valid if the attacked state is paying its agreed NATO membership fee (now 2% of GDP or above committed to defence spending): if the state is not doing so ("delinquent" is Trump's favoured term) then he would happily "encourage the aggressor" - widely suggested to be Putin's Russia, based on the Ukraine war - "to do what the he likes" and the US will not interfere. Cue outrage throughout Europe and Democrat America, agreement from the Trumpian Republican Party and, no doubt, cheers and much vodka swilling in the Kremlin, North Korea, China and Iran (amongst other nations who follow Moscow's or Teheran's lead....).

In 2020, after Biden's electoral victory, I think most people expected that Trump would fade away and, in the wake of his failed "insurgency" (or at least his part in it) so would his more extreme supporters too. The Republican Party would purge itself of the Trump Rump and get back to bi-partisan, decently negotiated government.  A new, younger, more global generation would come through to replace the old guard like Trump himself, McConnell, Graham and the rest of the Grey Old Men who have been running the Party for years. The Democrats seemed on the way to doing that already, with a young, black, female VP, Kamala Harris in place to succeed Biden and lead a similar change.

Somehow, it hasn't happened. The GOP remains Trump territory, and all opposition to him has been weeded out, by fair means or foul, and the Grey Old Men are still there, still in place.

Harris remains VP, but has remained strangely silent - presumably out of loyalty - as the concerns about her boss have grown in volume.    The other young guns (to use a rather hackneyed phrase) have fallen by the wayside too.

America clearly has problems. But they are also our problems, the West's (again, a hackneyed expression) problems. Because whoever wins in November will be, as usual, considered the Strongest Man in the world because the economy and military they inherit will still be the strongest in the world. Are either of them, and the parties they lead into power, up to the task? Because the wealth and security of the entire world may well depend on the answer.

This is why I worry about America.

Privacy concerns

 

Privacy matters.  And not just on your internet browser of choice.  Nor on the internet as a whole.  It's one of the reasons Vivaldi is now my daily driver.  As well as being fast and offering more customization options than you can shake a stick at, and a host of productivity tools that for me, at least, are completely irrelevant, it has excellent security and privacy features baked in.  Specifically its own ad- and tracker- blocker that ensures my browsing choices and history

are not flogged off to the highest bidder, nor am I peppered with ads all the time.  It gives a running count of the number of ads and trackers it's blocked too, which makes interesting and

sobering reading - I've been using Vivaldi pretty much constantly for around 15 months and I'm told that in that time (as I write this...) I've had close to 300,000 trackers and nearly 150,000 ads blocked......  But even these tools are no match for the world's biggest advertising agencies (that's Alphabet and Meta, via their assorted Google and Facebook products) that continue to bombard me with unwanted crud if I go anywhere near them, via their own software that force you to disable your own ad-blockers if you want to continue using their services - and let's face it, most of still do.

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However, this piece is not intended to be an advertisement for Vivaldi, nor a rant against Google and/or Meta (that's one for another day).  No, this is simply a few thoughts about privacy and the occasional lack thereof, that plagues our modern world.

As an introvert, my privacy is important to me.  It's why I have net curtains and blinds on the windows of my apartment, and crave decent fencing at my dzialka. Right now I have waist high wire fencing, plus some bushes that in time (say three or four years) will provide additional screening, as does the mature hedge at the front boundary of the plot.  As things stand, the neighbours all around have a clear view into my "private" space (as indeed I have into theirs, should I want it - which I don't), and it makes me uncomfortable.  I don't want people seeing what I and my family are doing when we're there - we're not doing anything to be ashamed of, but it's our business, nobody else's.  But this is par for the course here, as it is in many other parts of the world. I crave the 6 foot high waney-lap fencing I had around my entire gardens, in pretty much all the homes I had back in England, but to add it to my plot here would cost me even more than it would there.  You get used to it, of course, but that doesn't mean you can simply ignore it (at least I can't).

Apartment living has its own privacy challenges.  I remember the first couple of homes I owned: a small, old, middle terraced semi-slum on top of a railway bank and an end-terrace in a better neighbourhood.  Both had entrances shared with our next door neighbours and wafer thin walls, and you could clearly hear what tv program they were watching and every word of any argument they might have.  You could also hear the more, shall we say, intimate activities going on, and I suppose it was as unsettling for them to hear ours as it was for us to hear theirs. Moving up market put paid to that, especially in my last big detached house.

But it's all back again in the apartment living that is the norm in my life now.  Our place is relatively new, so of better construction than many blocks, but I can still hear the kids running around in the place immediately above ours, often earlier in the morning than I would like, and I have no doubt they, and the people below us, can also hear us.  I know that the regular arguments that happen in any family can be clearly heard - we had a good one last week, all four of us, and a couple of days later the upstairs neighbour, who we bumped into in the lift, joked about it: we responded in kind (they're decent friends of ours) but I found it unsettling - even those from people across the shared garden.  We had a young couple in one of the ground floor apartments and they were quite, shall we say, demonstrative in their conjugal activities: one summer afternoon so much so that most of the balconies were full of people  listening to their antics (there was no choice actually, such was the din) and gave them a rousing ovation after the third time in an hour and a half. They moved out a week or so later.

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It seems to me that, with all this move to apartment living rather than houses (at least in my neck of the woods) privacy is on the wane.  The rise of social media has resulted in people, especially the younger generation, being more prepared to share their lives on-line, with their friends and relatives, and this I believe is a dangerous development - I tend to be much more circumspect with what I share on my own Facebook account (it's the only platform I use and, frankly, far less than I used to) than I used to and rarely post pictures now. 

Then there are the activities of the press and paparazzi.  There is no doubt the press will do whatever they deem necessary to get a story, even stuff there is barely (or not at all) legal - phone hacking and stalking being prime examples - especially where the story relates to a celebrity, politician or royalty, or a serious crime is involved. Reporting seems much more prurient and unpleasant than I remember it before the rise of the internet, even in the gossip columns that most tabloids carry, and its alternative news organizations like Buzzfeed or Huffington Post, with formerly respected outlets like the Times and the Mail and the Washington Post dumbing down to compete and selling their support to the highest paying political party.  Smartphones, with their built in cameras, and sites like X (or Twatter if you prefer), Instagram and TikTok mean that everyone potentially is a citizen journalist and can post any old garbage with little fear of anyone fact-checking it, and find an audience.

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Sorry - I've drifted off-piste a little, but never mind: all of the stuff in the last couple of paragraphs is still very relevant.

All of this citizen journalism (or shit-spreading, if you prefer) has it seems to me eroded everyone's right to privacy, and this can only be seen as a Bad Thing.  Whatever you think of Prince Harry (for instance - he's not my favourite person in the world), he should still be entitled to some privacy for he and his family.  If he and missus are at a film premiere or something then it's obviously different, as they are "working", and to be expected, but under normal circumstances there should be no phone hacking or packs of paps on motor bikes dogging his every move, just because of his background (he didn't choose to be born into the royal family) and actress wife.  At the end of the day, they are both human beings, the same as the rest of us.  

It struck me particularly strongly last week how far reporting has degenerated into scummy tittle-tattle last week when I watched the first Pentagon new conference Defence Secretary Lloyd Austin made after his recent treatment for prostate cancer. Now, I don't know much about the bloke, know nothing of his past military career nor his performance in his current job. Wikipedia tells me he is 5 months younger than me, a devout Catholic, married for over 40 years and has two step-sons.  So a decent bloke then.  It also briefly mentions that he was diagnosed with prostate cancer last year and underwent corrective surgery over Christmas.

Now in this briefing, more time was spent discussing this ailment than the conduct of US forces in the Middle East, or American support for Ukraine in its war against Russian aggression, or his country's commitment to NATO - all of which seem to me far more relevant to a defence briefing than his state of health.  But no: because of press tittle-tattle, especially from the Trump supporting alt-right media, and the strident complaints of a Republican party that has lost touch with reality, Austin spent half of his time giving a tortuous and very personal explanation of what happened to him and when, and then answering innumerable questions on the same topic..  One no-mark wannabe hack, probably from Trump's favourite Fox News, asked why, in view  of his "conduct" (as if developing cancer, in any form, should ever be considered "conduct"!) he hadn't resigned or been sacked. 

It just so happens that I was diagnosed with the same condition last year, so I have a very good idea of what Lloyd Austin and his family have been going through.  My diagnosis was in May, and I had surgery in mid-November, so we had almost exactly 6 months living with it - six months of blood tests, scans and painful and distressing biopsies to see how bad the tumours were and if the disease had spread (potentially fatal).  Then waiting for the surgery to be scheduled and completed, with its embarrassing and difficult after effects. I was lucky: the surgery was completely successful and the recovery (so far, and touching wood!) much easier and complete than I - or the doctors - had anticipated. But it's still been a tough time for us, and I still have six months and more blood tests before I can be pronounced cancer free.....

This is what Lloyd Austin has faced and is still going through: his use of a golf buggy shows clearly his recovery is proving much more difficult than mine.  He's clearly a strong and determined guy, and I have no doubt he will get there - and I wish him every success in his personal journey. 

But here is the thing: just because he holds a senior position in the current Administration should not mean that he has to go through this process in the full glare of publicity, nor should he be condemned for a perceived "lack of judgement" during his hospitalization. At the end of the day, he is just an ordinary man who is going through a health crisis, albeit one that does not necessarily impact his ability to do his job properly.

He should be entitled to do that in privacy.

As should we all.

Facing trials.

 

Today has been a good day.  It's not quite 11 in the evening, and I'm sitting on the balcony in my old and rickety IKEA rocking chair that I fear is nearing the end of its useful life. (It come to all things, including ourselves. But do not think I am coming to that stage - far from it.  So please don't worry - as if you would!)  The day was hot, approaching 30C I think, not bad for early September in Warsaw, and even now it's a comfortable 19C and in my old blue shorts and new black Red Hot Chilli Peppers tee, I'm warm. I have a chilled Lech beer on the table beside me, a full belly from My Beloved's cooking, and the sublime music of Mozart fills my ears.  It truly is a fine ending to a fine day, and I feel thankful and satisfied with my life right now.

Of course, it hasn't always been so.  There have been trials to face and there will be more I doubt not.  It's what we humans have to go through (probably all living things do, come to think of it). And that doesn't matter in the least.  It's how we face those trials that matters. An example: my dad died of cancer when I was 19, and left me the main breadwinner.  I coped, comforted my mum and my sisters, and buried him. But I shed not a tear, it would have upset everyone, so I bottled it up and hid in a beer barrel for several years, before marrying and having my family.  So essentially I didn't face that trial at all, and it took nearly 30 years before I cried it out, and another 20 before I faced the guilt I carried and buried it.  In fact, the final exorcism only happened last year, when I wrote a short story around it and cleared my mind finally. Now I'm comfortable with it.

I've had other pains in my life, too, and faced them rather better.  Losing my mum in similar circumstances, and not mourning her properly either (I did that at the same time as I did dad), but it wasn't so painful because I was closer to her and she knew it (in a way my dad never knew how I felt about him...).  In and out of work more frequently than was ideal, and a couple times it was no-one else's fault but mine - again, this new found honesty has made me realise it.  Illness: of course, not least the two Covid infections that left me in poor mental health, leading to the depression that forced me to look at all this stuff with different eyes (and gave rise to this honesty).  

It's been tough sometimes, but accepting things about myself and my life that I previously had not recognised (or worse, denied) has laid ghosts I never realised I had to rest, and given me an inner peace at last.  But none of it has been close to how tough life is for millions of people. Those in Ukraine, for instance, victims of Putin's war, watching their country reduced to rubble as their armed forces fight to turn the tide.  Those in Syria and Yemen, for instance, victims of brutal civil war and oppression by their own leaders (propped up by superpowers fighting a proxy war).  The hundreds of thousands of migrants in this world, walking and hitching rides and paying people smugglers, for thousands of miles, in a vain attempt to find better lives in the West but finding mostly hate and victimisation instead of help and comfort. The millions of people across the tropical regions, especially in Africa and low lying island nations, destined to become climate refugees because of the selfishness and stupidity of the richer nations incapable of weaning themselves off their carbon fuel addiction. 

I can of course do nothing about any of that, beyond showing my support, voicing my disgust and advocating in conversations with friends and acquaintances and total strangers on various social media platforms or face to face.  So I focus on my own life, and those of my nearest and dearest, and try to make our lives as good as possible.  I do my best, although often it's not enough, but at least I face my trials now, instead of hiding away.

Money is always too tight: being over generous and trusting people I should have walked away from has seen to that, but we manage.  We are not wealthy, far from it, but as long as we are fit and strong and work hard and honestly then we are fine, and can have clear consciences.  That is more than can be said for some people who have taken advantage. There is little, realistically, that we can do about any of that, except make the best of what we have: a good and comfortable home full of love and laughter (and sometimes tears - we are human after all), clothes to wear and food on the table.

Aging is a frustration, but I'm becoming more settled with that.  For years I've refused to recognise the passing of time, trying to do things increasingly beyond me.  It's led to hospitalisation and various aches and pains, so now at 70 (and a half) I've come to accept I'm no longer a young man and started to live my life accordingly.  I feel better for it, fitter after changing my diet and exercising more.  And happier: I'm in a better place now, mentally, than I have been for years (perhaps even since childhood).

Which is just as well.  I was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer, until quite recently a killer.  I've had loads of scans  and blood tests and a painful biopsy, and thanks to God it's not as bad as we initially feared.  I need surgery, which has been scheduled today for a few weeks hence, but with luck I will be through this, cancer free and living a normal life, by the end of this year.  My mindset has been positive since I found out, and the doctors have all been confident my good health and strength will be a great help in my recovery, and foresee no major issues.  But still - it's serious, and surgery, and there can be no 100% guarantees.  But I will be fine, I know this in my bones. 

So until the next time, good night.  I'm off to bed now.  Happy and content.