In defence of the Sussexes

 

I didn't watch the Oprah Winfrey interview that has been dominating the headlines for the last week and a half.  It wasn't shown on Polish tv - at least, not the channels I tend to watch.  I suspect it will turn up on one of the Canal+ ones later - perhaps History - , next time they do a Royal Week and re-run stuff about the entire Royal Family.  There was plenty of news coverage, of course, and all the little snippets that were shown on the BBC News channel and CNN were there.  And I read the coverage on the BBC News and Guardian websites - at least until I got bored with the repetition.  Oh, and like most people I guess, on Facebook I was invited to Like and Share a number of gushing tributes to (in no particular order) the Queen, Kate Middleton and the entire Family, all of which were to a greater or lesser degree factually inaccurate, and pillory the Sussexes for daring to speak out about something that is clearly important to them.   

It seems the silly season has come early this year.  So I might as well add my four penn'orth.  Might upset some people, but what the hell......free speech and all that.

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Young Harry has had what with the best will in the world could only be described as a dysfunctional upbringing.  The second son of the Prince of Wales, he was unlikely to be King, so while much time and effort has clearly gone into rearing big brother William into preparing for that role - quite rightly, because that is how the hereditary monarchy works - Harry, as the Spare in the classic "Heir and Spare" requirement of Royal parentage, has always seemed a little out on a limb.  His childhood, like William's, must have been tainted by the apparent coldness of the relationship with Prince Charles - which in turn merely followed on from a similarly cold rapport between him and his own parents, the Queen and Prince Philip.  It goes with the territory.  As a young child, Harry watched his parents divorce, the entire tawdry episode played out in the media spotlight as the Prince of Wales went off with Camilla (finally, after many years of waiting), and Princess Diana went through a list of "friendships" that ended with her appalling death in a dark tunnel in the centre of Paris, her drunk driver losing control of the car and crashing while pursued at high speed by paparazzi on motor bikes.

As a result, both Harry and William have been less than fond of the paps in particular and certain sections of the popular press more generally - with good reason, in my humble opinion.  Whether because of his more managed upbringing or some other factor, William seems to have come to terms with it better than his younger brother.  Again: Harry left out on a limb.  His youthful indiscretions clearly haven't helped - one particularly unfortunate picture from his Uni days surfaced as a meme this week, that tried to portray him as the alleged family racist that Meghan referred to - which if you think about it for a second makes absolutely no sense at all.

The only time Harry seems to have been happy were his service days.  Two or three tours in Afghanistan flying combat missions in Apache attack helicopters, messing down with ordinary servicemen to whom he was just one of lads, clearly suited his personality.  Since leaving the Army he has been a bit rudderless.  At least until meeting Meghan, marrying her and starting his own family.  In that, he is little different from countless other ex-servicemen who have struggled to cope with civilian life.

Meghan, too, seems to have had a less than ordinary upbringing.  Her parents divorced when she was a kid.  Her family is also somewhat dysfunctional - according to one report only one of them attended her wedding to Harry (I didn't watch or follow the coverage of that so it was news to me this week).  She is of mixed race.  She is also a divorcee. She's managed to carve out a career for herself as a successful  actor in the US, and has been involved in charity work for some time.

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So it seems to me that the couple are kindred spirits.  Their union, unlike many Royal marriages, seems to be based on mutual respect and love.  Harry's willingness to walk away from Royal duties with which he has never felt comfortable, and re-locate to the US to carve his own place in the world with his family seems to me laudable rather than to be criticized - particularly when he has shown a willingness to forego his Civil List entitlement.  They clearly have common interests, including shared charitable responsibilities, and a common distaste for much of the press corps and paparazzi.  

I can perfectly understand their wish to lead a relatively ordinary life, free from intrusion, in which to bring up their kids as "normally" as possible.  I don't believe either of them are idiots: they know they are not "ordinary" people - Harry by virtue of his ancestry, Meghan by virtue of her show-biz past and popularity - and know that, whether they like it or not, they are to a certain extent public property.  But they are 100% correct in their assertion that they still retain a right to some privacy - as indeed does anybody, including the rest of the Royal Family.  No matter who you are, you should not have to look out of the kitchen window and see paparazzi hanging from an overlooking tree, a long-lens trained on you to see if you've got underwear on beneath your bathrobe.  You shouldn't have to beware of helicopters buzzing overhead when you're taking a dip in your pool or taking a bit of sun on a patio lounger.  You shouldn't have to use a security detail taking your kids to a friend's birthday party.  But because the world expects these kinds of intimate snaps - and every movie or sporting superstar, ex-politician or wealthy celebrity chef has the same problem, more or less - the Sussexes will be plagued in this way.

There have been lawsuits already, both won and lost, against the press for intrusive and inaccurate reporting.  There will undoubtedly be more.  Harry and Meghan have made it clear they are prepared to allow selective access to get the kinds of pictures and quotes the "public" seems to crave, in return for a promise of more privacy - which seems to me reasonable enough.  Harry has also made it clear that what happened in his childhood and the way it affected and eventually ended the life of his mother, is not something he is prepared to accept for his own family - and to that surely no-one could object.  Both have also made it clear that further legal cases will be pursued if they feel it necessary - and quite right too, I think.

As for the remark that seems to have captured everyone's attention - about an unnamed member of the Family raising concerns about the colour of the babies' skin - both Harry and Meghan have made it plain that the person was neither the Queen nor the Duke of Edinburgh.  This does not surprise me in the least - I can think of a couple of other members far more likely to make such a crass and stupid comment.  I'm not even sure it should be considered a racist comment at all: it strikes me as being an incredibly lame and insensitive attempt at humour, at a poor joke, than any kind of personal slur.

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In conclusion, the whole affair seems to be a very sad and disheartening re-run, of history repeating itself.  For Oprah Winfrey read Martin Bashir, for Princess Diana read Meghan Markle.  Not much was changed by Diana's attempt at self-justification, and the Royal Family, far from imploding, went along its own sweet way.  I can't see anything changing very much this time, either.  The public will still demand their pound of flesh, the paparazzi will still use every effort, including breaking the law, to get the pictures to support the scurrilous gossip, and newspaper editors will still be quite happy to buy the pictures and print the garbage.  

It's the way of the world.