Two Historians, Two Books

Norman Davies – “Beneath Another Sky: A Global Journey Into History.”

Professor Davies is a Bolton-born historian of Welsh ancestry – and proud of it. A specialist in Eastern European history, in particular that of Poland (where he spends much time, having taken citizenship in 2014, and has a home in Krakow), he is without a doubt my favourite historian. His books are always entertaining, packed with detail that really gets under the skin of his subject matter. Davies doesn’t merely record a dull succession of historical facts, characters, events and dates, although they are all there. They are supported by a wealth of anecdotes, fragments of poetry and song from the period and country in question, documents, detailed maps and illustrations that bring his subject to life. His writing is clear and, considering that his topic can be complex and a bit dry, hugely entertaining.

I’ve read several of his books, and never failed to enjoy them immensely and learn from them. “At the Centre of Europe: A Brief History of Poland” and his classic two-volume “God’s Playground: A History of Poland” both taught me about my adopted country and its people, and have proved invaluable. His superb “Risng 44: The Battle for Warsaw” relates a day-by-day journal of the tragic Warsaw Uprising in 1944, when the city was largely destroyed in street to street, house to house fighting between the Polish Home Army resistance movement, with its boy soldiers (some as young as 9 and 10 years old) and the Nazi occupiers, while Stalin’s Red Army watched from across the river and refused to intervene. “The Isles: A History” and “Europe: A History” are huge, 1000+ page epics that tell the history of the British Isles from pre-history to Tony Blair, and pre-history to the EU respectively, whilst “Vanished Kingdoms” focuses on once mighty kingdoms that flourished in Europe (Burgundy, Castille and the Austro-Hungarian Empire for instance), ran their course and died. In an Epilogue, Davies suggests that the next vanished kingdom may turn out to be the United Kingdom of Great Britain & Northern Ireland, torn apart by arguments about EU membership and an increased desire for independence in Scotland and Wales. The book was published in 2011, long before Cameron announced the Referendum that makes Davies’ prediction seem even more prescient.

“Beneath Another Sky” is something altogether different, however. Part history and part travelogue, it recounts a round the world trip taken by Davies and his wife to fulfil a number of speaking engagements. Starting from Cornwall, the journey takes in visits to, amongst other places, Azerbaijan, India, the UAE, Australia/New Zealand, French Polynesia and Texas – the kind of trip I would love to make but never will. Written in his usual style, Davies delves into what each destination is like now, and its history. This time, as well as the snippets from local legend, music, and the arts, he uses his family stamp album (passed down to him by his Uncle Norman, a pilot killed in World War 1) to illustrate points of historical relevance. He jokes and complains in equal measure, and finds time to discuss and present his own theory for the disappearance of Malaysian Airlines flight MH370 in 2014 – and it’s as plausibe as any other suggestion out there.

For someone who, as I do, has interests in travel and history writing, this book is an absolute joy, and one to be read and enjoyed during these difficult times.

Yuval Noah Harari – “21 Lessons for the 21^st Century”.

Israeli historian Harari could hardly be more different from Norman Davies, but his books have captured my imagination just as much. I stumbled across him about 5 years ago, en-route to Chennai. Browsing the Waterstones outlet in Heathrow T5 before my Sunday departure, I saw his first book, “Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind” and bought it to read on the long flight. A superb book, it entranced me from page1 and I read it through the week, finishing it on my return flight the following Friday. A mixture of history and philosophy, fact and speculation (can we really say with any certainty how and where we as a species came up with the idea of agriculture, or invented religion?), I found it a fascinating world history unlke any I had read previously.

 The cover advertised a sequel, “Homo Deus: A Brief History of Tomorrow” and I resolved to get it as soon as possible. In the event it took me another three years before I tracked it down in a bookshop in Luxembourg, but it was worth the wait. This time, Harari turns his attention to how our species may develop in the coming years. He speculates on how AI and biotechnology may help us to live longer and richer lives, end famine, eradicate many common diseases and end the need for warfare. But there are warnings too, in particular about the danger of such advances leading to what he terms a “useless” class: the millions, possibly billions, of us who at present do manual work like cleaning, assembly line working, and so on that could in the future be done by machines, and who are unable (or unwilling) to learn other skills.

Taken together the books make a coherent and thought provoking picture of how we as a species got to where we are now and what may lie in store. “21 Lessons” essentially completes the trilogy, and Harari turns his attention to the challenges that face us now, how we can tackle them and take our lives and our children’s and grandchildren’s lives safely through towards the future speculated in “Homo Deus”. All the usual suspects are covered: terrorism, religious intolerence, the rise of nationalist movements, global warming, pandemics and armed conflict. While no clear solutions are described – as is to be expected – there are many insights and suggestions as to what we could do to mitigate some of them. Harari has used many of the themes covered in “Homo Deus” and this has given rise to some complaints of cut-and-paste, lazy writing but in my view it’s a device he has used well to start a topic that has then been skillfully and thoughtfully expanded.

“21 Lessons” for me is as entertaining and thought provoking as its two forerunners, and it’s another book to entertain during our self-isolating days. Whether you could class it as a history book, or indeed class Harari as a historian is open to debate, but he is certainly an entertaining writer with some interesting views. Well worth a look.

Gettin' a bit Edge-y.....

A while back (November last, to be precise) I posted a piece on my old Blog (The World According to Travellin' Bob - http://travellin-bob.blogspot.com) in which I compared experiences on the main browsers out there.  I came down in favour of Chrome, closely followed by Edge with Firefox a close third.  In the time since then, I've continued to shuttle back and forth between them, but for me there has been very little in it.  But in the last week my views have crystallised.  Here is why.

Truth be told, as I wrote previously, all three of them are decent browsers for the average Joe Public, non-techie user.  They are all easy enough to set up, they all can run quite happily with multipe tabs open, they all offer security and privacy tools, password management and ad-blockers.  Pages load fast enough, they're all stable......basically if you just want to use them to browse the internet, manage e-mails, watch the odd YouTube video and listen to internet radio stations they're all fine.  I could get to my Google Photos and Music Libraries from all of them with no issues, ditto my Gmail and Yahoo Mail accounts.  So how to favour one over the other?

In terms of set up, there wasn't a lot in it.  Edge comes baked into Windows 10 as the default, so you actually don't have to do a thing if you accept the default security settings, unless you want to change the Home page and add a bunch of Favourites (which, let's face it, everyone does).  But doing that was easy.  Chrome?  Downloaded it in a couple of minutes, copied over all the Favourites and passwords from Edge in another 30 seconds or so, and voila -  good to go.   Firefox was a bit more fiddly - the download and install plus copying over Favourites was simple and took the same sort of time.  But then there was a bit more fiddly stuff, around Security and Privacy.  This was done via a couple of Extensions that needed to be downloaded and defined - simple enough, but added time, and according to all the articles and comments I'd read in a number of sources doing it gives you a much more private and secure browser than either of the other two, without compromising on performance.  Which is what Mozilla has always insisted is its raison d'etre.

I used them all, depending on how I felt on any given day.  After a while, it seemed to me that Edge was dead settled and I knew how it would behave on any day.  Firefox was fine and fast, but Chrome tended to slow up if I had more than three or four tabs open - something I had noticed previously.  So I Uninstalled it and made Firefox my default, thus taking advantage of the "increased security and privacy tools".  It worked fine, and if I fancied a change, I just launched Edge.  Happy days.

But then Firefox, too, started slowing down.  I started using Edge more, and found that it didn't have the same problems.  Loading was definitely slower on Firefox.....and in addition, on certain frequently used (and extremely popular) sites Firefox never seemed to save my Cookie settings - I had to renew every time.  This becamse incredibly irritating, as I didn't have the same problem with Edge.  Still not convinced by it, though, I had another trawl through the web and read up on some more recent comparisons.  Edge still seemed to be suffering and less secure than Chrome or Firefox.....

I took a deep breath, Uninstalled Firefox (again) and replaced it with Chrome (again....).  And carried on doing my stuff......and there was, indeed, little to choose between Chrome and Firefox.  Then I read an article about the new release of Firefox, saying it was blindingly fast, added new privacy functionality and was, essentially, a Chrome killer.  I ummed and ahhed - then when it took five attempts to load a page I got fed up, dumped Chrome (again!) and installed the brand spanking new Firefox......and groaned.  It was no faster to me than the previous release had been (no surprise - when these things are benchmarked by the tech press the differences tend to be in tenths of second or even less - so not noticable) but annoyingly no faster than bloody Chrome.

That's when I started to think the hell with privacy - I've been using Chrome and Gmail for the best part of ten years, ditto Facebook, Microsoft tools a bit longer.......there is precious little "new" private information in my life, so they almost certainly have everything already.  I can't think, off the top of my head, of anything that wasn't part of Cambridge Analytica's haul back in 2016 - that's if they even bothered with me.  Final straw - I saw an article that said the new Chromium based Edge was released, I could simply update my old Edge and get all the (alleged) benefits of Chrome with most of the security and privacy of Firefox - in one place.

The conversion from legacy Edge to Chromium Edge was indeed simple (it took less than 30 seconds with no import of passwords and Favourites needed since they were all there).  I started using it.  And I have to say, as a completely untechnical user - the only code I know to any extent is the Morse Code and I've forgotten most of that - and hence as unbiased as you could possibly get, Edge, the new Chromium Edge, is bloody good.  It looks good, very clean, very Chome-esque as you would expect.  It is VERY fast - or at least seems that way: pages definitely are loading faster for me.  The Security and Privacy settings are very simple to set - there are three levels of each, the key features of each displayed in very simple terms in the choice box, and the default (which in my view anyway) seems to cover everything the average Joe Public user would need.  No changes required so I wenr Default.

There is also a tool that shows you how many Trackers have been blocked by the approrpriate tool - in the two days since I set it up and started using it exclusively, as my default, it has blocked over 7,500 trackers, of which a full one-third are from Google.  Even Facebook is way down the list with only around 200.   So it seems to me that A) as far as I know there is no report in Firefox that gives that breakdown and B) I can't see Google blocking its own trackers in Chrome, then Edge is doing everything it's supposed to, and all I need.

For me, the battle is won.  I haven't (yet) seen or experienced any of the "issues" with Edge that have been highlighted in various articles by the tech press, and I don't think I will.  I suspect they are using specific test scripts that are designed to break any browser and covering actions that Joe Public is highly unlikely to use (or even know about).  I don't think Firefox is doing much better on the Tracker blocking either: I can't see how (or why) Edge would block one Google tracker, for instance, and allow others.  But I'm open to any explanations....as long as they are in layman's terms not techie mumbo-jumbo!

Edge is fine.  I've Uninstalled Firefox, the (slow) blindingly fast Chrome killer.  I've set it as my default browser - it's the only one I have on my machine in any case.  And unless something truly cataclysmic happens I won't be buggering about with browser wars any more.

This Joe Public is very satisfied, thanks very much.

A request from Travellin' Bob

Afternoon all.

First up, many thanks to you folks who have had a look at the Blog.  It's most appreciated and the numbers to date are encouraging.  As indeed are the Comments that you have posted thus far - not many, but they are all read with thanks.  I'm not aiming at a Pullitzer Prize or Blog of the Year Award - nice as both would be: this work-in-progress is my hobby, something to fill my happy retirement days, keep my brain working something like normally (at least for me) and if I manage to bring some enjoyment, no matter how small, to someone somewhere then so much the better.  It will have been worthwhile.

But I can do better, write stuff that YOU want to read - I want This World, This Life to be as much yours, the readers', as mine, the writer's.  Right now, I'm filling it with stuff that I think might be interesting but it's of course a bit hit and miss - my thoughts are bound to be different to yours.  I will of course carry on doing that, but YOUR feedback will help me shape the content - please use the Contact form on the sidebar.  There's also a Comment facility at the end of each post, and I would love you to interact through that too, give some feedback, and start a dialogue that we can all join in.

Finally, there is also a place where you can sign up to Follow the Blog and hence receive e-mail notifications of new posts.  It would be great if you could all do that - it only takes a few seconds and you only need to do it once - and it will help me assess my audience, monitor its growth and tailor postings.  And please tell all your friends about the Blog, get them to take a look and Follow too.  It's an organic process!  Remember, too, there is a mobile version of the Blog, so you can keep up with and read it on your smart phone or other device on the way to and from work (once all this awful COVID stuff is out of the way and you're all back to work)!

Thanks again for your continued support - and stay safe!

Travellin' Bob

Stir crazy......and how I plan to avoid it

Well, well, well.  This Coronavirus outbreak is a bit of a bugger.  Coming out of nowhere - or at least China (unless you subscribe to the conspiracy theories about it being planted there by the CIA, with or without the assistance of aliens and/or the Lizard People and/or the Illuminati (delete as you like) - it's playing havoc with Living on Planet Earth.  All joking to one side, the numbers of infections and deaths are truly horrific, and the chaos being caused to businesses and sports and especially people's lives by the very necessary safety measures being put in place by governments everywhere are likely to change the way we all live for years to come.  It's still way too early to have any real idea how long this crisis is likely to last, and equally impossible to really make any meaningful predictions about what fallout actually will come about.  I'm not even going to try!

But there are some things we do know. Despite what very many people are saying, it is NOT seasonal flu.  I have lost count of the number of social media posts I've seen maintaining it is just that, and providing a multitude a graphics to prove it.  Most of these show that "seasonal flu" (I'm still not quite sure where that expression comes from - flu is a year-round ailment, surely?) kills many more people every year than COVID-19 has so far.  Well, yes - the key words here are "so far" - the graphics invariably show numbers from a couple of years ago, with the latest COVID figure squeezed in somewhere near the bottom.  Quite how that can be considered proof of anything, when the COVID figures cover a period of less than three months as a comparison against a full-year's numbers for everything else, is beyond me.  Apart from an ability to doctor graphs obtained from the internet to suit a personal narrative, that is....

The point is this is a completely new strain of coronavirus. Thus there is as yet NO CURE.  Indeed there are many things still not clear about it that we may need to understand before a safe vaccine can be created.  How the virus reacts to hotter weather is still unclear, for instance.  It started in a cold China, and the countries worst affected at present (beyond China itself) are mainly European (in particular Italy, Spain and the United Kingdom) where the weather remains relatively cool.  Granted, there are outbreaks in hotter African and South American countries, and all American states including Hawaii, Florida and California (where temperatures are always hotter) - but also Alaska, where it is still bitterly cold.  This would appear to suggest that the virus is not affected much by temperature extremes, so anyone hoping it will all die down with summer are way wide of the mark.. Best guesstimates from government spokespersons in various locations and the World Health Organization all suggest a vaccine is unlikely to be available for wide use for at least another 18 months.

We also know that many of the "cures" being bandied about on social media are complete nonsense, and in many cases dangerous nonsense.  Gargling with bleach is unlikely to do anything other than burn your throat out.  Swallowing solutions of liquid silver will do no more than cause kidney damage, seizures and skin discolouration (to blue apparently).  Eating loads of garlic will not cure coronavirus but as part of a healthy diet may help you stay fitter and, critically, your immune system remain stronger.   Certainly the toothpaste and vitamin supplements that loony American conspiracy theorist, alt-Right campaigner and Trump supporter Alex Jones is flogging at extortionate prices "exclusively" on his web-site will do nothing except boost his bank balance with the money received from the morons who believe his tripe and part with their hard earned readies.

With so much uncertainty around, the advice to stay indoors in so-called self isolation and practice social distancing (which seems to mean staying at least a couple of metres away from other people in check-out lines and avoiding crowds) seems to me prudent.  Quite how long this practice is likely to be required is anyone's guess - in my view, probably months.  Things may quieten down in the summer, in which case such measures may be relaxed - but what if there is a resurgence in the number of infections, as has been suggested by the latest Chinese figures?  As a 67 year old man with what is considered a pre-existing health condition (I had whooping cough in childhood and a bout of seasonal flu two years ago caused it to re-surface, meaning I am now more prone to breathing issues if I catch a cold) place me firmly in the highest risk profile.  So self isolation it is.  With my kids off-school and my wife at home too, it's not quite solitary confinement, but if any one of them catch a cold or a cough, then for me it will become exactly that.

With that in mind, I've just spent a week indoors, thinking through what I need to do if that happens.  Last Wednesday I went to a crowded supermarket for supplies, and until today that was my last step outdoors.  It's been pleasant enough, especially with my family here too, but I have to say it has become increasingly stressful (the Samsung Health app on my mobile tells me that - I could feel it anyway).  Part of the problem is we live in a small flat, with three rooms (not counting the bathroom) - a lounge and two bedrooms.  So there is little space to find a bit of privacy and peace and quiet - it will become easier with warmer weather when I can sit on the balcony.  But no matter how patient we are, no matter how much we love each other (and we do - a lot!), just sometimes that is precisely what we do need.  There is normally a queue for the bathroom....

So how am I planning to prevent becoming stir crazy?  So far I haven't taken any special measures at all.  But now, I plan to do the following:

• I am avoiding television news, since it's wall to wall coronavirus (and understandably so).  And not just television news - I'm cutting down on perusing the online versions of the BBC and CNN news sites, the Guardian Online newspaper and the curated news apps on Google and Windows.  There is nowhere safe, not even the Sports sections.
• I am also cutting back on social media.  I don't use it a lot, to be honest - Facebook, to stay in touch with family and friends around the world, and Linked In to do likewise with my old business friends and colleagues.  Tripe like Twitter and Instagram and TikTok and the rest I simply don't understand or use anyway.  Facebook is and always has been the Home of Fake News, so I always take any "news" item on there with a huge pinch of salt.  Linked In, sadly, is equally obsessed with the crisis, particularly with its effect on business (as you would expect from a business networking site), but the number of posts complaining about the damage being done to economies and businesses and ignoring the real human tragedies are becoming depressingly frequent now.
• I've made sure I have a good library to dip into.  I read a lot in any case so always have a shelf full of unread books (my backlog).  I've added  to it by digging out some old favourites to re-read, including some anthologies (the complete Evelyn Waugh, for instance) and some volumes of short stories.  There's definitely enough to keep me occupied for months - well, maybe three - before I need to risk a trip to a bookshop.
• I've made sure all my internet radio apps are working properly so I have something to listen to (I can always mute the news bulletins).  And there is YouTube.
• I'm trying to find other things to do - ironing and hoovering for instance, to give my wife a break, cooking for the same reason.  I'm also allotting time every day to shut myself in the bedroom and write - this Blog is the result of the process.  There are a couple of old side projects to work on as well - my long planned travel book and perhaps another go at the memoir, and even publishing my bloody book finally....
• We have plenty of board games to play, as a family.  The view from our window (5th floor) is pleasant enough, over a busy street, and allows me to gaze at nothing very much while I try to wake up my Muse.
• I also considered trying to make some plans for when this is all past, but it doesn't seem worth it yet, given the continuing uncertainty.  It might be depressing anyway, the longer the uncertainty lasts.  I'll do it later, when the end is in sight.

Hopefully all of that will protect my sanity, at least for a while.  Whether it will do the trick for several months remains to be seen - but you can guarantee I'll write about it here.....

Over to you, Dear Reader - any other bright ideas?  How are you coping with the prospect or reality of self-isolating?  I'd love you hear from you....Comment Costs Nothing.

Radio Radio

Back in the early 70s, one-hit-wonder Jon Miles sang about Music - an overblown three or four part song that in some respects was a poor man's Bohemian Rhapsody.  It started:

                                             Music was first love and it will be my last,
                                             Music of the future and music of the past.

I can understand that: music has been (and continues to be) an important part of my life too.  Calling it my first and last loves is a bit strong, but still - I do love a good tune.

Before downloads, we listened to music on CDs.  Before that it was cassettes and 8-track tapes, or maybe reel-to-reel tapes (if we were really flash).  Before that vinyl, 8" singles or 12" albums.  If I wanted to go back further there were acrylic discs, the same size as albums but with only one track per side rather than several, and playing at a different speed, and further back still acrylic cylinders - but both those formats pre-date even me.  Through all of those eras - except the cylinders - there was (is....) Marconi's world changing invention, the radio.

In my childhood, we had a big old plywood radio that was coated with something tacky that made it look like teak and hence more vaulable that it actually was.  It had valves and a kind of beige woolly grille through which came the sound (mono of course, only one speaker) and a backlit display that told you what station you were listening to.  There were three wave lengths: medium, long and short.  Way too technical for my family. we listened pretty much exclusively to the medium wave programming, that held all the popular BBC stations (all three of them: The Light Programme, The Third Programme and The Home Service), even though elsewhere there were many more exotic and mysterious stations available, often in different languages.  Not that they came through particularly clearly - all crackles and static, except for pop station Radio Luxembourg.  We used to listen a lot, especially Sunday mornings for the Children's Hour request show followed by Two (and sometimes Three) Way Family Favourites that linked our service personnel posted abroad with family back home.  It seemed to be the same music every week, but no matter.  Eventually we got a television, and that ultimately replaced radio as the main family entertainment (at least from about 5 in the afternoon, when I got home from school).

When I was 11 or 12, for my birthday (or maybe Christmas) I got a transistor radio from my mum and dad.  Medium wave only and battery powered, it was about the size of two cigarette packets or a small book and fitted snugly in my growing hands and school blazer pocket.  There were no headsets then, so I used to walk around with it clamped to my ear in one hand, my school bag in the other and the sound set to a level that seemed ok to me but was probably too high because I think my hearing is not what it should be and I have mild tinnitus (but that could simply be age).  But I loved it.

I could listen to it at home too, while I was in my room doing homework, or reading my latest Biggles book, football magazine or War comic.  During the day I would listen to either a pirate station like Radio Caroline or Radio London (broadcasting from rusty old hulks bobbing about in the Thames Estuary) or the official BBC pop station Radio One.  That had been launched as direct competition to the pirates, who were deemed illegal, and the DJs were all hired from the pirates so the music wasn't too different - that is to say the pop charts.  But somehow they weren't as good - for a start the anarchic humour the pirates could get away with was missing as the BBC decided, in its infinite wisdom, that it was "not the right sort of thing for a public broadcaster".  They were probably right at the time, but eventually it all changed, especially when commercial stations were licenced as legal competition to the BBC and the pirates were finally forced off the air.  But my little pocket Phillips was the soundtrack to my childhood.

Later, in my teens, I graduated to bigger radios, still mono and still small, until at about 16 or 17 I finally go a stereo.  Black, oval with a flat base, and a tinny speaker at each end, it also played cassettes - indeed, it had two decks so you could copy your mate's tapes or record your favourite radio show.  Then I got a bigger one, the size of the Encyclopedia Brittanica, that had a carry handle and better speakers and was really LOUD.......cool, but bloody heavy to lug around.  Thank God for the invention of the Walkman.

Finally, in the late 70s and with marriage beckoning, I finally got a proper music centre (actually as a wedding present) that played and recorded cassettes and vinyi records, and had a radio that played both AM and FM stations and had proper separate speakers and a mixer.  I set it up in the living room of our little 2 bedroom terraced wreck and ignored the 12" black-and-white telly in favour of the music.

Despite the changing times (and sound-systems as I moved from house to house and country to country) I've always frankly preferred listening to the radio than watching telly (certain programmes like Match of the Day, EastEnders, the 9 o'Clock News and anything by Richard Attenborough excepted).  Listening to vinyl, cassettes and, latterly, CDs is fine from time to time, especially with the advent of multiple CD trays, but it can be a pain getting up every twenty minutes or whatever to change the music.

This is what I like about radio - someone else gets to do that.  I know the argument about it being their choice of music not mine, but that's fine - the presenters are paid a significant amount of dosh (the best of them in any case) to curate the music, and they have a much bigger choice than I do.  Let 'em do it.  In any case, it's a good way to get an introduction to something new and different - avoid the chart shows that stick to a rigid playlist, especally in the evenings, and you get to discover some absolute gems.  The internet and download does the rest if you want to.  Brilliant.

So what do I listen to?  Well, never the charts for a start.  Popular music, top 30 stuff, ceased to interest me nearly 30 years ago, when it all began to sound the same and the "artists", " bands" or whatever you want to call them were all manufactured and singing someone else's (generally puerile) songs.  Or were all rapping or (I thinks it's called) MC'ing - that seems to involve stringing words together and shouting them very fast and indistinctly.  Whatever happened to talent?

I've always preferred album music anyway, so back in the good old days I would be listening to John Peel, Tommy Vance, Alan Freeman - they played the kind of prog-rock and metal that I loved (and still do): innovators like Hendrix, like Cream, like Genesis, Yes and Emerson Lake & Palmer, not to mention the Stones, AC/DC, Led Zeppelin, the Eagles, Springsteen.....the list is near endless.  Bob Harris, the ole whisperer, does a decent country show for a bit of variety, and Mark Radcliffe a similar service to folk music.  Peel, Vance and Freeman are all dead now, but their shows (or the memory of them) live on for me.  And they were (or still are) mainstays on BBC Radio Two.

It's the only BBC national station I listen to nowadays, via internet, and frankly it is not as good as it was even two years ago.  So I use the web to get at other stations for my UK radio fix, and I can do that from anywhere with the right tools.  Sometimes I listen to my old local station Radio Kent, when my team are playing and there is live commentary (but generally when I do so they lose...).  I listen to Virgin quite a bit - a good music mix but I wish they would stop plugging the Chris Evans Breakfast Show every ad break.  It's an ok show but the same format as he's been pumping out the last 20 or 30 years and to me it's a bit stale now.  The music is ok, especially later in the day, so the station is fine.  For my prog and rock stuff, there is a single choice: Absolute Classic Rock.  I love it - it's like Peel and Freeman and Vance have never gone away.  The other day somebody played Crossroads (Cream), immediately followed by Hotel California (Eagles), Highway to Hell (AC/DC) and Nevermind (Nirvana) successively.  All on my All Time Favourites list and I was in Seventh Heaven.

For chilling out - Classic fm or Scala.  They both play a great mix of classical music (something over the last few years, as I've grown older, I've come to love). but Scala is a little lighter: it's an entertainment station with news and guests and interviews and quizzes but mixed in with Wagner and Verdi, Beethoven and Brahms.  Oh, and it has a good hour on a Saturday afternoon that showcases music from video gaming, some of which is terrific.  Now who would have thought that?

In the car there are three stations to tune to in and around Warsaw - Eska Rock, Rock Radio (similar, and as close as I can find to Absolute Classic Rock) and RMF fm, which is like Radio2 or Virgin with its mix of music (Polish, British and American) and news.  If I get out of range - like on the way to the coast or somewhere - it's whatever I can find in clear, or Bluetooth the phone and hit my Library and playlists, or maybe a CD.  But I haven't yet found a Polish version of Classic fm - which is a shame.

Homeworking is here

If COVID-19 is doing one thing (that's apart from scaring the crap out of most of the world and showing even more evidence that Mr. Trump is simply unfit to be POTUS) it is to change the way we do things.

Some of the changes may be relatively small.  Will we still be using an elbow bump greeting in a years' time or go back to the old favourites of shaking hands and hugging or kissing cheeks (a la Francais or Polski)?  What about thoroughly washing our hands with soap and hot water while singing "Happy Birthday to you" in its entirety twice as a timer, multiple times a day, whether after a toilet visit or not?  I doubt it.  Emptying supermarket shelves of toilet rolls in a mass panic buy?  I bloody hope not!

But other changes may turn out to be more fundamental.  Take "Working from home".  It's been around for a few years now, notably in the tech and consultancy industries, where the tools needed (a decent laptop and internet connection and top level web security provided, video conferencing and peer-to-peer voice calls via your device, the ability for teams to collaberate remotely in document edits etc) were developed and passed on to the casual web surfer.  I've done it myself countless times over the years, in my software consultancy days where "working from home" was sometimes a euphemism for "taking a day off" (a bit like its more officlal term "On the Bench").  Others called it simply Skiving.  Mostly, some time would indeed be spent working, if checking your mailbox and replying to the odd missive, and completing your expenses for the last trip can be considered work.  There were also, increasingly, home-working days when a lot of genuinely profitable stuff was accomplished: systems updated and re-configured, documentation like code specifications, business requirements and training materials written and/or edited, and customer problems solved and documented.

Increasingly, this has been the way forward, and many tech companies, my old one included, happily saved huge costs by closing down or reducing in size expensive office space as a result.  It meant you could work for a company and continue to live somewhere totally different - a different town, sometimes a different country, and still contribute just as efficiently.  When I first started at my old company I was based in central London and endured a two hour or more commute from the Home Counties to and from the office every day (at least, when not on site).  More experienced colleagues, still on the London payroll, lived and "worked from home" from locations as far flung as Edinburgh, Cardiff, Dublin and Malaga.  You wouldn't see them from one year end to the next, but they were still part of the same team.

It wasn't - and isn't - always easy.  In my case, "working from home" meant effectively shutting myself away in the bedroom, my laptop balanced precariously on my knees, trying to ignore the distractions of my kids playing and wanting to show me stuff, or the washing machine or hoover going as my Beloved continued with the daily chores.  Shutting the door was not a solution, since it invariably interfered with my vital wifi connection.  The constant traffic flow outside the window didn't help either. But I managed - and continue to do so now, in my retirement where work like this Blog is as much a hobby, and distractions less important (indeed often welcome).

COVID is making the whole "working from home" ethic increasingly popular - indeed, necessary -  and moving it away from the tech area into other walks of life.  At least in (I hesitate to use the term but can't think of a better one...) civilized countries, the majority of people who have office jobs, in accountancy, sales, stock control, the legal profession and other services, architecture, design and many others, are all IT savvy with home computers or laptops, internet connection through their sattelite tv provider, printers and so on, and therefore possess most of the tools to work as well as leisure surf.   It's thus a small step for the employers to provide the additional tools - the security and productivity software and access to the company network (as opposed to a public network) - and hey, presto! Who needs office space? 

This is all good in my view, provided it's thought through properly and not taken as a kneejerk reaction to an admittedly awful situation such we are now experiencing.  There have been many articles in the press highlighting some of the issues new home workers will face, from making sure your new workspace is comfortable and well designed, to making sure you stay in touch with your work colleagues by regular Skype calls or whatever, and both you and your boss have an agreed set of goals and targets - i.e. a proper work plan - and maintain regular contact to review and adjust it as needed. 

It's all very sensible if not always achievable.  For instance, a majot recommendation is you use a table to work at with a comfortable chair.  I'll buy that - but in a smal flat like mine there is simply not the space to do that, as I found out.  I tried using a table in a corner of my bedroom (I brought it in from balcony with a matching chair, they were garden furniture) and it was ok until you needed to get to the wardrobe......  Working behind a closed door was also challenging as that disrupted my wifi connection (I lost count of the number of times I had to open the door and re-connect some days, and suffered dropped Skype conference calls on a regular basis). 

But it seems to me that if this COVID situation continues for a period of months - as seems increasingly likely - then more and more people will be placed in a work from home situation and will no doubt become accustomed to it, as I have.  Sitting in a comfortable IKEA rocker with some decent music in the background (today some Absolute Classic Rock fm - terrific station - , maybe later a little Classic fm) is much more enjoyable than a crowded and noisy office to my mind.  It could also have a positive health benefit too: reducing the amount of commuting stress, for a start, perhaps reduced levels of pollution as traffic decreases, fewer contacts with disease-carrying colleagues and total strangers sneezing over you in crowded trains and buses....

Time will tell, I suppose.

Why the panic?

Much as I'm concerned about the COVID-19 outbreak, all this global panic seems a bit of an over-reaction to me.  I know, I know -  over a hundred thousand cases is a lot.  I know the number of deaths (currently just over 4000) seems a lot as well (as a percentage, it's 6% of all closed cases).  But taken across a global population in excess of 8 billion......well, it looks small beer really.  Many more people die from ordinary flu every year. Many many more people die from accidents every day.  Conflicts like those in Syria and Yemen, the migrant crises in Europe the Far East and, arguably, the US-Mexican border are just as fatal.

And yet - with COVID the world is in a state of panic.  Entire countries are in lockdown (Italy for instance).  Stock markets around the world are plummetting, in free-fall, worse than anything since the global financial crisis in 2008, and show no sign of slowing up their losses.  Airlines are going bust (flyBE), cutting flights and grounding fleets of planes (Lufthansa, Qantas, Ryanair etc etc) or flying empty planes between destinations simply to keep their take-off slots BA, and Virgin).  Nobody wants to travel.

Health services the world over are struggling to cope.  There are not enough testing kits to go around, never mind beds and isolation rooms to cope with demand.  People are being urged to work from home, to stay indoors, to go out only when necessary.  Schools, offices, art galleries and museums, universities are closed.  Sports events are either taking place in empty stadia or cancelled entirely.  The Tokyo Olympics (July) and the UEFA football championships (June) are in doubt.

There are food shortages.  No toilet rolls, disinfectant or bleach in major supermarkets.  People are panic buying everything in sight.  It's like Armageddon.

Only it isn't the end of the world.  It's an admittedly new and virulent illness that appeared only a few weeks ago, in a single Chinese city, and has "gone global" thanks to the ease with which people are now able to travel.  This has probably been aided by the initial lack of action in China that allowed it break out of that city, but since January the actions taken in the country have slowed down its spread.  Other countries are taking similar measures, of course on a smaller scale and arguably late in the day, to limit its spread further.

In China it seems to be slowing dramatically.  Governments are pouring money, directly and indirectly, into actions to develop vaccines quickly - but according to most reports it will take at least another year for them to become readily available - and beef up existing medical facilities like temporary isolation units to care for people unfortunate enough to catch the thing.  If the numbers from China (and in fairness they are disputed) are anything to go by, it may be that the situation will ease in a few weeks, provided we are all sensible and careful.

Wearing masks will not really help, because unless they are highly efficient and expensive ones like those is hazmat suits used by medical staff and emergency services in certain circumstances, they are not efficient enough to stop the microbes (or whatever agent - even that remains unclear) is spreading the illness.  The pictures we see every day on tv and in newspapers of people wandering around with face masks on are very dramatic but not to be seen as effective.

The WHO itself has said it's more important to refrain from physical contact and wash our hands thoroughly and regularly.  COVID seems to be killing older people, and especially those with pre-existing medical conditions - asthma, respiratory illness or just plain old age.  The vast majority of younger people seem to recover quickly enough.

It seems to me, living as I do in a country that so far has been relatively unscathed  - currently only 18 confirmed cases, 169 suspected and no deaths - but in a high risk group (not old, but over 60) that there has been an over-reaction.  With care and sensible precautions, there is no reason for me to be afraid, never mind panic stricken.  I trust the people who can do something about it - the scientists, the medical services, to a lesser extent governments - to be successful in containing this outbreak, nasty as it undoubtedly is.  This time next year, I suspect we will look back on this whole affair with relief and a certain amount of embarrassment that we reacted in the way we did, then dig out the last of the panic bought emergency stockpiled toilet rolls.......

Of course, I could be completely wrong.

ADDENDUM: - 11/3/20:  Well, a day later and panic buying has now hit where I live.  I've just strolled over to my local LeClerc supermarket for eggs, bread, fruit and veg on a lovely sunny day.  The place is packed, with shelves rapidly emptying.  Bottled water and tinned foods, especially fish and vegetables, were particularly popular.  Plenty of toilet rolls still, though.......  Clearly, this thing is changing the way we shop, at least. 

AGILE is Mythology, not Manifesto

Agile. Prince 2. Waterfall. Scrum. Sprint. KPIs. PRLs. FRDs. POCs. Huddles….. Dear God. Sometimes I hanker for the old days, when managing (and participating) in various work related projects was largely a matter of common sense and hard work, and not remembering a dictionary-full of buzzwords and acronyms and holding daily meetings to discuss identical things.

Back then, in the days of my youth – the 80s and 90s mainly – , when I got involved in a project at work it was because my partners or managers wanted me to do something very specific. They gave me a clear set of instructions, told me by when they needed to be completed and why and made it clear that my career may be damaged if I didn’t do it successfully, then showed me their office door and told me to get on with it. So I did. I don’t remember any failures on my part, and generally speaking the piece of work I guess formed a small component of a much bigger project of which I was (usually) blissfully unaware. It was never anything special, merely another bit of work to do in a typically already full day. But I got on with it in the hope (sometimes unfulfilled) that come review time I would be looked after financially and perhaps even get a little leg up the career ladder. I usually learned something new too, and still call on a lot of that knowledge now, thirty and forty years later in my daily travails. I’ve probably forgotten a lot of stuff too, but that’s life and ageing, I guess.

By the mid-90s, I had attained a level where I was more involved in project work and less in the day-to-day nuts and bolts of my particular banking segment. I had people reporting to me who did that, and I approved, kicked out, praised or chastised them as needed, while thinking more about how my bank’s business was growing, what new activities were being considered and how we could support them. I wasn’t a decision maker, not by any stretch of the imagination, but at least I found myself consulted by those who were. I would always discuss these questions with my more senior people, and report back up the ladder and wait for the fallout. Often nothing happened, but then sometimes changes would filter back down and I would have to pass them along to sometimes reluctant staff. But that is management, right? And still the “big picture” often eluded me, and still my reward (or lack thereof) depended on my annual review and a whole raft of other factors. I, like my team, just got on with it.

Then my bank decided that its existing IT infrastructure was hopelessly outdated and not capable of supporting efficiently its existing business, never mind the ambitious plans to expand that were being hatched by the board in Frankfurt. So a big project to replace everything kicked off, with an ambitious 18 month completion target. For the first time I was a Decision Maker, charged with choosing which system I wanted to support my segment and then installing it. There was a group of us doing the same thing – the idea of getting one piece of kit to support the lot was the ideal but despite reviewing a vast list of potential systems there wasn’t one, at least at that time, that could tick all the boxes – ably assisted by a team of young and enthusiastic Andersen Consulting analysts drawn from all across Europe, flown in and housed in central London at no doubt extortionate cost (payable by the bank, of course).

They took care of all the planning while we focused on our choices and, once made, plugging the system in. They also worked with our (small) in-house IT team and the vendors to build all the interfaces that were needed, both between systems and with the outside world, and assisted us users in our conversations with the vendors and in resolving the raft of problems that invariably cropped up. We meanwhile got in at 7:30 or 8 in the morning, did our normal day’s work until maybe 5:30 or 6, then did another three or 4 hours project work. It was bloody hard work, but given the size of the bank there was no other way to do it – we couldn’t spare the people to form a dedicated project team, and the budget wasn’t big enough to bring in a bunch of temporary workers either to do the day job or work on the system implementation. The specialist IT contractor market in those days was still quite young and mainly technical-oriented, so didn’t provide a viable solution.We didn’t have time for daily meetings (we barely managed to fit in a weekly round-table progress discussion) and relied on the Andersen guys to keep us all focused and on-track, our own stamina and common sense to keep it that way, and the support and efforts of the various vendors to do the development work.And we succeeded. On time (but probably over-budget), after a go live weekend where I got to the office at 7:00 on the Friday morning and left at 8 Sunday evening and about 3 hours sleep. I got home, drank a couple of cans of beer and ate a sandwich then fell asleep in the armchair for a few hours, before heading back into work at 8 the next morning, fingers crossed that everything was still working ok. It was – and in fact worked so well that we dropped the parallel run and de-commissioned the legacy system after 2 weeks rather than the scheduled month. In that time there had been three problems and they were all down to human error not system malfunction. Then we all went to a pub in Liverpool Street and got completely hammered. It was my first project of any significant size, and despite the grind over a period of months, it was a roaring success. And there was not a scrum or a sprint in sight.

Come the Millennium, I waved goodbye to banking per sé, and crossed into the IT landscape, working for a vendor who now offered the kind of all-in system that we had desperately tried to find in my German project. I needed a change: after 30-odd years arguing with know-all traders and rich-kid salesmen for a relative pittance, suffering redundancies and unfair dismissals along the way, I was tired of it all and wanted out. I wasn’t sure what I really wanted to do but knew I had to put my accumulated business knowledge to use, and initially stumbled into a start-up company trying to do something different and exciting. It was one big project really, working with a selection of well-known vendors, service suppliers and software houses and involved a lot of creative thinking and travel. Alas, the venture failed on the very brink of success and potential Wealth Beyond My Wildest Dreams (and my dreams can be pretty wild….), but not before I came to love the type of work involved.

From there, I managed to quite quickly find the job with my vendor, and began working my way around the world and through my passport (I’m on my third since then). It’s all been project work – each bank is a different challenge, even if the questions and problems are frequently the same – and I’ve found over the years that my banking experience and admittedly previously light project experience has been a big help.

In most places, the projects had been fairly tight and structured, so that we had set goals (both financial and deliverable) to meet, and by the time I had wandered into the building in some far flung location all the planning and governance had been put in place. To that extent, it was very much like my bank projects, in that I would be given a specific task to perform, a time to do it in, and a list of people I would need to meet to complete. Then typically, the project manager would let me get on with it, with minimum interference.Now it may well be that the project manager was indeed following Prince 2 or whatever, but to those of us at the sharp end, doing the work, collecting requirements, solving the problems and educating the end-users, that was often completely unclear. Sure, we would usually get to see the overall MS Project Plan (or at least the bits relevant to our specific tasks), and have a weekly meeting just to keep track of where we all were in relation to it, and of course we always had the option of asking for additional time if needed, but it was still relatively free. At least, that’s how that particular vendor operates (still) and it seems to work – it has been a market leader by various measures throughout the years of our association and shows little appetite to change and little sign of slowing down.

It was also noticeable that the more structure was imposed, and the higher the involvement of outside partners (like our friends at Andersen) to “manage” some aspects of the project, the harder it was to succeed, the longer the project took, and the less enjoyable it was. It was also the bigger projects that suffered in this way.Big projects have a tendency to over-plan. A perfect example was one I worked on maybe 15 years ago in Geneva. It was a big German bank, a flagship project for both the bank and ourselves, with a huge budget and matching expectations across the board. The bank created a dedicated project team from internal resources numbering maybe 150 people, and there was also a small army of consultants from a major international business consultancy firm who were responsible for planning (of course) and facilitating workshops. We were expected to match the bank project team man for man, which created an immediate problem as we had nowhere near 150 bodies available. But we got around that somehow by doubling or tripling up on the number of bank people we supported. At one point we fell a little behind The Planned Timeline, and the bank immediately shipped in another 80 bodies and expected us to do likewise (I think we found three new heads).

But the Project Plan! I have never seen anything like it. The partner consultancy created it using (of course) MS Project, and it ran to something in excess of 40,000 lines (no, that isn’t a typo). There was a detailed plan for each team member, and tasks were scheduled down to the minute. This led to the following exchange:

Planner: This task at line 2,383 should have taken you 40 minutes, but I see you took 50. Why was that? Me: Well, I had to take a dump – dodgy curry last night. And by the way, I’m working now on line 3,862 which is supposed to take 15 minutes and you have just completely wasted 2 of them. Now bugger off.

I left the project about three weeks later, and it limped on for another three or four years, before collapsing in a welter of accusations and counter-accusations. I could mention similar cases, and also highlight others where a small team of perhaps 10 individuals from vendor and bank (and no partner organizations) were able to complete early and within budget – without a monstrous project plan at all. Anyway, I remained blissfully unaware of Agile and Scrum and all this other stuff, because to the best of my knowledge not a single project out of the 50 or so I worked on over the years used any of it (apart from probably my over-planned Swiss-Germans). And I had more successful go-lives than failures.

Then I moved on again in 2013. I started my own company (just me as a sole trader) but seeking to work on the same kinds of projects supporting the same vendor, plus anything else I could manage to pick up elsewhere along the way. As a result I had some discussions with a guy in the UAE, about a short term analysis in the region, that he advised me would “follow BABoK and Agile – are you ok with that?” Of course, says I, trying to keep the ignorance from my tone. We agreed my terms and he went off to pitch to the potential client while I attacked Wikipedia. In the event, the project never materialised on cost grounds, but I spent an entertaining week or so downloading and reading all I could find on the two mysterious methodologies (that’s when the material didn’t send me to sleep).

By and by I got some project work, at small banks through an old contact of mine, working with the same old vendor in the same old way, and both BABoK and Agile (to mention nothing of Scrums, Sprints and Huddles) receded from my consciousness. At least, from its forefront.

By 2015, I moved to a long termer, at a bank that swore Agile was the best thing since sliced bread, and ran all its projects, big and small, using the methodology, but I was still not sure how Agile is supposed to work, and as far as I knew had not used it at work. As far as I could make out, it involved working in small teams that comprise the BAs, the techies, the vendors (maybe) and the users, and it parceled out the work to be done in bite-sized chunks. In this way there is supposed to be a constant stream of small incremental code changes delivered that ultimately comprised the deliverable (i.e. the new system). There needed to be regular meetings (Scrums?) to plan the work, daily meetings (Huddles??) to discuss progress: what was done yesterday, what is being done today and what will be done tomorrow to meet the deliverable. These appeared to be planned and controlled by someone called a Scrum Master, who was not so much a project manager as a meeting facilitator come secretary (but I may have been wrong on that count – it was mostly guesswork). If there were delays then the team would embark on a shortened delivery cycle (a Sprint???) to make up for lost time and get back on track.

This sounded all well and good, and I was sure it worked because it seemed to be an increasingly popular way of running IT projects these days. But it seemed to me that for the methodology to work properly, the team needs to be small, located in close proximity (preferably the same room or at least location (floor) in the building), and be 100% assigned to the project. So how does it work on a big project, where the client BAs are in one room, the vendor BAs in another building, the end users assigned only for part of the time and scattered across locations throughout the city, country, continent or world, and the vendor’s coders located in a faceless building half a world away and locked into their company’s own delivery priorities (that cover many other clients), I wondered? I couldn’t see any way an effective Scrum or (in particular) Sprint could be carried out under those circumstances – even with today’s multi-media technology, video conferencing, webex’s and so forth.

So the first year or so I beavered away doing bits of work as assigned, and trying to figure out these concerns myself. I asked a few bank old timers, without trying to sound like a complete moron, but no-one was able answer the questions. I came to the conclusion most of them were in the same boat and the project was in danger of sinking with all hands. Then we were all scheduled to an “Introduction to Agile training course” – it lasted one day and was delivered by a young lady, a rising star in the bank, who was a Scrum Master. We were all asked at the outset what we wanted to achieve over the day, and I raised my specific concerns about fragmented teams on a big project (since they matched exactly what was happening on our major multi-national project) and said that I wanted them answered for me to consider the course valuable. She smiled and assured me they would be. But they weren’t. I was no more knowledgeable about Agile at the end of the day than I had been at the beginning, beyond seeing that my basic ideas about the terminology had at least been reasonably accurate. But as to the specific questions? Not a word.

Nothing in the Agile methodology, it seems to me, can properly replace a good and experienced project manager. All the buzzwords and acronyms in the world will never replace the guy who can organise and plan a work schedule properly, assign it to the correct resources, and then trust and motivate them to do the job to the best of their abilities, come hell or high water.

Maybe I really am getting old, certainly I am old fashioned, but all these meetings – whether you call them Sprints or Scrums or Huddles or something different altogether – are more likely to get in the way of doing the job rather than enhancing your chances of finishing it. I had weeks where I endured (that is the right word) three and four meetings a day, usually with the same group of people, to talk about the same thing and arrive at the same (lack of a) conclusion. When you spend an hour and a half with six individuals planning a meeting you are going to have with them TOMORROW on the same topic there is something very wrong, surely?

But it seems this is increasingly the way of the world now. More and more companies are “going Agile” and of course I needed to do likewise – not easy at my age, with dodgy hips and failing eyesight. I tried, really, but it made less sense when I left that gig than when I had started. I moved elsewhere to another project that was allegedly Agile, and it made even less sense – perhaps “Agile Methodology” means something completely different in the Eastern Mediterranean, I don’t know. But it was nothing like the Agile methodology the other project had employed. Either way, it seems to me that knowledge of the business, adequate time management, a degree of common sense and an ability to communicate effectively both verbally and in writing (all key skills in my humble opinion) are no longer enough for modern IT project work. Which is a shame.

I have contacts in the recruitment world who are no longer called Job Advisors, or Career Counselors or, worse, Head Hunters. They are now Agile Evangelists. Well, sorry, but until I work on a big project that religiously follows the Agile Manifesto and manages to succeed within time and budget, Scrums, Sprints and all, I will remain unconvinced. An Agile Agnostic? Yes, that sounds about right. But it’s not going to happen now, as I’ve moved on in my life and left the business. And to be honest I’m happy about that. Agile continues to drive IT projects all over the world. And no doubt it will continue to do so and continue to line the pockets of the two (inevitably) Americans who devised it – at least until someone comes up with an alternative.

But it's NOT a methodology. Methodologies don't normally give you simply an idea what to do, just provide suggestions, they tell you exactly what to do, in a complete range of circumstances. As far as the Agile Methodology is concerned, both from personal experience and hours reading through various tomes on the subject, it simply does not do that. It's a nicely concocted set of acronyms, buzzwords and brain-farts that add up in practice to little more than a money maker for its creators. As an IT project guide or methodology it has more holes than Swiss cheese.

My Life in Literature

I’ve been an avid reader (and hobby writer) for as long as I can remember. Give me a comfortable seat (whether in the lounge at home, on a plane train or bus, or in a pub or coffee bar), a bit of music in the background and a good book and I will be a happy man. Let me share with you a few memories and recommendations from my life in literature:

The first book I read was probably one of those cloth ones with pictures of apples and balls and cars and stuff that a baby can chew on when fed up with trying to figure out what all that printed coloured stuff really is (so after about 5 seconds). The first one that actually meant anything (though I don’t directly remember it) was almost certainly the classic Ladybird “Janet and John” - I got through the whole series I think, as it was pretty much obligatory when I was at infant’s school in the late 1950s.


The first book I remember reading – also at school, but a little later – was again a mandatory children’s classic, and either “The Hundred and One Dalmations” by Dodie Smith or “The Borrowers” by Mary Norton. Both written in the early 1950s, they were enchanting stories that were both subsequently turned into movies with varying success. The first was originally a very twee but classic Disney cartoon, later re-booted as a live action movie with Glenn Close in the key villainness role of Cruella de Ville (both highly successful at the box office), while the movie version of the second starred John Goodman (1997). with a 2011 remake starring Stephen Fry. Neither was particularly successful.


Teenage literature was not really a specific book category in my youth, but there were certain books that most kids read. Girls tended to focus on the Lassie books, or Enid Blyton’s Famous Five series (I read a couple too – they were ok) while boys focused more on comics: more correctly, English war comics, since the Marvel series hadn’t reached us from America yet. No Spiderman, Avengers or Superman for us – we devoured all-round British World War 2 heroes like Captain Hurricane, the huge Marine with his trusty batman Maggot Malone. But top of the list was really Biggles.... Capt. W.E.Johns penned in excess of a hundred books about the intrepid aviator, ranging from the 1st World War, through the interwar years when our hero was an adventurous pilot for hire, saving the world from Russian invaders (amongst other totally implausible plots), through the 2nd World War as Biggles – now an Air Commodore - must have turned 50, and on into a twilight career in the Special Air Police. My dad used to work next door to the printing works that churned them out and at various times must have brought me home the lot. I loved them.


The book I wish I’d written is Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings. For sheer scope and imagination I’ve come across nothing to compare. Inventing an entire imaginative history with its own maps, mythology, societies and languages was a remarkable achievement. I know writers like C.S. Lewis with the Narnia series, Frank Herbert with his Dune series and of course J.K.Rowling with her Potterverse have shown similar creativity but for me Middle Earth remains the best. I first discovered it in 1972 on a trip to Canada after my dad died, when I read the first third of Fellowship... on a weekend trip to Niagara Falls, in the back of a big Ford station wagon. I couldn’t find it back home and bought an Authorised Canadian version in three volumes when I went back to Ottawa two years later, and read that about a dozen times until it literally fell to pieces, forcing me to buy a one-volume edition, which I’ve read another four or five times, though not for a couple of years now. Must dig it out.... That said, it would have been far more beneficial financially to have come up with the Harry Potter stuff – never read a single one, but seen the movies.....and boy, has Joanne Rowling made a few bob on the back of it. And good for her!


The book I wish I’d never bothered with was called The Maker’s Mark, by Labour politician Roy Hattersley. Billed as “The First Volume in a 7 part Family Saga”, I bought it for about three quid in a bookshop in Tintagel. It ran to about 500 pages and was something about a family in Sheffield.... and that’s all I remember. The most turgid pile of poo in history, I’m convinced it would never have seen the light of day if Hattersley hadn’t been a bit famous for his day job. It took me a year to struggle through about 300 pages before I gave it up as a bad job and donated it to the book stall at the local Parish fete. Priced at 50p, then 25p then 10p, it was still on sale the last time I went to the fete about 5 years later. Awful, awful awful.....


The book I’m reading now is Beneath Another Sky by the eminent British historian Norman Davies. The man is one of my favourite writers, and I’ve read several of his works, including his definitive two volume history of Poland, God’s Playground (it proved invaluable in learning about my adopted country when I moved here 20 years ago), huge and detailed histories of both Europe and The (British) Isles, and a fascinating book detailing a number of once mighty kingdoms that ran their course and disappeared, called Vanished Kingdoms. I thoroughly recommend them all – indeed, anything written by the man. Beneath… is part travel book and part history, as he makes a round the world trip from Cornwall to, amongst other destinations, Azerbaijan, India, the UAE, Australia/New Zealand and the USA. Written with his usual eye for both detail and the unusual, and with his trademark dry humour and, sometimes, cynicism, it’s an absolute joy.


My favourite book genre has changed as I’ve aged. In my teens and twenties I devoured science fiction, with shelves full of Asimov and Clark, Heinlein and Farmer (the Riverworld series I loved but when I re-read them last year I spotted innumerable flaws). I still enjoy Iain M. Banks, and Kim Stanley Robinson’s Mars colonization series and Earth trilogy (about global warming, more relevant than ever) are brilliant. In my thirties I discovered Dickens and Paul Theroux’s travel books, and Hobsbawm’s four volume history of Europe from 1789 to 1991 – heavy going, but worthwhile. Nowadays, my main reading remains history books, in particular those by Norman Davies or Andrew Marr, political biographies of Churchill and Mountbatten, Blair and Bush, anything by Bill Bryson, plus re-visiting loads of old favourites. So it’s broadened out a lot.


Newspapers? Nope. I get my news fix online nowadays. I can’t remember the last time I picked up a print version – probably in an airport lounge somewhere though. I favour The Guardian and The Independent, and can’t abide the Mail or the Express, scurrilous rags that they are. Anything else is a comic not worthy of the term “newspaper”.


I do wish there were more periodical news magazines around. Back in the early '80s I used to enjoy one called Now! That was a glossy weekly and very good but it went bust after about a year. The Economist is ok, but can be dull, Time and Newsweek too American focused for my tastes, and both The Spectator and The New Statesman too politically biased. Where is the unbiased news reporting we used to be so good at? Gone, drowned by political spin and Fake News. Shame.


It would be great if magazines took more short stories by unpublished writers – er, like me... - as well. There used to be a good many but I struggle to find one to submit my stuff too. There is Granta, and that seems to be about it, at least in the UK. Given my writing tends to be pretty Anglocentric I’m not sure it would sell in say the US or Australia – that’s if I could find something other than The New Yorker to try. Any ideas? Do let me know!

Jumpers for Goalposts

Back in the 1980s, comedian Paul Whitehouse created a terrific character for The Fast Show on BBC television. Called Ron Manager, the character was apparently based on a famous old post-war football manager called Alec Stock, who was appearing as a pundit on a football match broadcast. He would be asked a question, and with a big smile he would burble on for a while, misty eyed, about how things were back in the day, invariably bringing in phrases like "lovely boys they were", and "kids playing on bomb sites with jumpers for goalposts", before trailing off into silence for a moment, then asking "What was the question?" It was a lovely pastiche, and for those of us of a certain age who had played the game precisely like that (except in fields not bombsites) it rang true.

The point was simply that as far as football is concerned, the Old Days were the Best Days, when life itself was much simpler, especially for kids. It was true then and in my view remains so today. A child of the 1950s, I remember spending hours every day, at least when the sun was shining, kicking a usually flat old football around on the school playground or the field out the back of my best mate's house, with (yes...) jumpers piled up on the often damp ground as goalposts. We watched the FA Cup Final every year as the highlight of the football season, then head off to the field and try to recreate all the best moments: the winning goal, the great save, the best foul and so on. Never mind today's Academies, as a football education it was second to none.

At 14 I joined my local boy's team and began to take it seriously. I had proper boots, proper goalie gloves and instead of jumpers defended a proper goal with wooden posts that seemed vast - it was a full-sized adult goal, not reduced for kids to use, and I was a skinny little kid. I loved it. I stayed with the club for years, through to the adult teams in "men's football" and made the club's First XI at 16 (still a skinny kid but a bit taller). I won the odd trophy, over a period of probably 12 years until my first kid was born and I foolishly stopped playing (in my prime!), but on average probably lost more matches than won. We weren't the strongest club in the league, and my employer's team that I also represented for about 5 years was if anything even weaker. But I loved it - football was always my sporting passion, and remains so to this day.

At its most basic, football then as now was a very simple game. Two teams of 11 players (12 if you included a substitute - only one allowed in my day, not the 5 or 6 as now) tried to score the most goals in 90 minutes, split into two 45 minute halves. Pitches at our level were generally terrible cabbage patches, bumpy and rutted and swamps in mid-winter. Goalposts were either square wooden things or tubular steel, painted white and if you were lucky there were nets and corner flags. The pitch markings were lime and water mix that washed away when it rained, but all to a regulation size measured in yards not metres. Physical contact was not only allowed by expected and could be quite brutal - at least once a season, sometimes more, I could count on being knocked out, to be resuscitated by a sponge full of cold water and snort of smelling salts, dragged to my feet and told to carry on.. Concussion? What was that?

Happy days. And no matter what age, we knew the rules. Handball had to be deliberate for a free kick to be given (a penalty if in the penalty area). Offside was given (when spotted - half the time there was no linesman and the referee behind play) if there were less than two players between attacker and goal when the ball was played to him. When a couple of players came into contact and both claimed a foul, if the ref was unsure he would give a dropped ball, meaning he would stop play, pick the ball up and at the spot the incident had occurred drop it, for one player in each team to kick lumps off each other until one of them got the ball back. If a player was injured, it was usually pretty obvious (there was very little "simulation" - in our terminology cheating - then) we didn't need to be told and would kick the ball out of play while the injured were attended to. His team would invariably take a throw in and give the ball straight back to the other team - simple sportsmanship. We knew mistakes would be made every game, by players AND referees, and just got on with it: over a season they tended to even out - you won some, you lost some.

But when Big Money came into the sport, it all changed. All the sportsmanship and acceptance of mistakes by players and officials alike went out the window, because such things could change results and lose money. Referees, especially in the higher leagues, became less and less popular, their mistakes magnified by an unforgiving press and television. Crowds became less patient too, and the officials (linesmen included) routinely vilified for their apparent mistakes. Even down at my local level, where you paid to play football and ref's were generally volunteers found by the home team (there are never enough qualified ref's to go around) the same was true. In kid's football, where pushy parents could not accept their offspring's team losing, or their kid being fouled or substituted, I found myself under fire when I was managing my son's team and regularly ref'ing or linesman.

Of course, the sport's governing bodies got in on the act, and continue to ruin football on a season-by-season basis. A lot of the changes were needed - much of the brutality has gone now, and the skill and fitness levels of even lower league footballers has improved as a result.

This is fine, but the ceaseless search from perfection, which by definition since all humans are susceptible to mistakes (it's one of the things that makes us human) is impossible, is now reaching nonsensical levels. Rules seem to be changed with little rhyme or reason, and new technology, introduced to "help" match officials is doing precisely the opposite.

An example. Until a couple of seasons ago, when a team kicked off, either at the start of a half or after conceding a goal, the ball had to move forward and no-one else was allowed to touch it until it had moved its circumference - so about 18 inches. So there were always two players, one to tap the ball forward and a second to play a pass, either forward, backwards or to either side, and either a short or a long distance. It had been so since the original Laws had been written towards the end of the 19th century. But now, the ball can be played straight backwards or to either side (and presumably forward) any distance. So at kick off, invariably the ball is passed straight back ten, twenty yards or more. Why? How has this improved the game?

Or again, with goal kicks or free kicks given to the defending team within its penalty area. Until this season, the ball had to leave the area before another player of either team could play it. This too worked well from the original rules - a keeper would normally take the kick and launch the ball to the halfway line, or kick perhaps 15 yards either side, to clear the area and allow a defender to continue building play or return the ball to him. Now - the ball does NOT have to leave the area so the keeper can now roll the ball a foot or so to his team mate. Again - why? Where is that an improvement?

Penalties are now given when the ball accidentally hits a defender's arm anywhere between shoulder and fingertip, if the arm is away from his body and thus "altering his body shape". Players are becoming adept at deliberately kicking to arm from close range, giving the defender no chance to avoid the contact, and defenders are struggling to keep their balance with their arms literally held behind their back (to avoid changing body shape) - hard enough on feet and impossible when jumping. Which clown devised that little gem?

Offsides, too, have changed such that a player can be called offside if a single small portion - his nose for instance, or toe - of his body is ahead of the last defender. To help judge this, new technology has been introduced that uses clever computer simulation to identify the appropriate straight line across the pitch at the most forward part of the last defender (let's say his right knee) and then viewing if any part of the attacker is even further forward. This has resulted in players being given offside because their nose, big toe, knee or even armpit has been adjudged to be a centimetre or two "offside". In the good old days - indeed, last season) the forward would have been given the benefit of the doubt in such marginal decisions and praised for perfectly timing his run. Whole careers - lucrative ones at that! - have been built on such small margins.

This simulation has given rise to the Video Assistant Referee (VAR for short). The idea is that another referee will be watching the game on monitors in a room somewhere miles away from the ground, and when he sees something suspicious, he tells the referee (with whom he is in radio contact!) who holds the play until the VAR official has reviewed the pictures from multiple angles and made his decision. It's only supposed to be used for close contentious decisions like offsides or possible fouls and who actually kicked the ball out for a corner, and of course penalties. Further, the on-pitch referee is supposed to review the decision too on a pitch side monitor. The on pitch referee can change his decision if he is in agreement, or overrule the VAR ref. In reality the on pitch referee very rarely does this - he's essentially ducking the responsibilities that pay him the best part of hundred grand a year.

All of this is simply spoiling the game. Part of the fun of football, for players and supporters alike, was the controversies that mistakes create. Look at any club forum or supporters chat room in the lower leagues (VAR is only used in the Premier League) and most of the discussion centres around the performance of the ref, whether this or that player really was offside, whether that handball was deliberate or not.....in my day all that argument would (and still does) take place in the pub after the match. For top flight games - and these inevitably take up most television time and print inches - the argument now is why the VAR ref yet again overruled the match ref, whether half of Giroud's right foot really was in an offside position or not, and why did the match ref not look at the bloody monitor himself, the twat!

To this old footballer, all these changes are simply ruining football, taking all the fun away from it, and replacing the reasoned discussion that even the most partisan supporter is still capable of with an endless stream of vitriol and abuse. It's such as shame, but of course FIFA will never back down and change things back the way they used to be even a couple of years ago. Like it or not, we are saddled with ridiculous and meaningless rule changes and VAR for good or ill (mostly ill, in my view). But I really do believe things were better when we had jumpers for goalposts.